15 Answers

We get along really well until an issue arises and he wants out of the relationship straight away, he has packed after almost every argument we have had, this leaves me very insecure and sceptical of his love for me. I don’t know what to do or say to him or if I should just bite the bullet and just end it myself.

Posted anonymously, 4th November 2015

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  • My partner used to do this too, or he would be telling me to pack up and get out. Made it hard for me to know his true feelings, made me feel like I was under appreciated and totally disposable

  • I’d deag him to see a relationships Australia counselor and see if the can help get to the bottom of his insecurity.

  • Don’t think we are really in a position to answer this, only you know the full situation and how it makes you feel. Maybe a counsellor could help?

  • I agree with Ellen’s comments. I think a relationship counsellor would be able to tell you whether this is a relationship that can be worked on so that both parties are happy.

  • You write you’re getting along really well, but have arguments and then he wants out of the relationship straight away.
    We all respond different on arguments or fights and not everyone is able to deal with fights and anger. That can certainly be something for a counselor.
    The very fact that you have arguments is of course also something what you can question. Where do you argue about and what is happening between the two of you and within each individual.
    Both of you should maybe also question yourselves if this is a relationship you want to fight for.

  • yeah do you want your kids to see this? is this a cycle of behaviour? get counselling if you are going to try to make it work. it is not fair to you.

  • I have a similar relationship. When things get tough, he tells me to get going and don’t come back. It’s very frustrating as we can’t have a grown up discussion

  • all the wonderful moms had great advice and I must admit Remymumma had me thinking …she may well be onto something.

    best of luck in what ever you choose. :-)

  • Seems like everyone else has some fantastic advice for you, but it makes you wonder if he is using his leaving as a threat to get his own way?

  • I think if he is already packing his bags all the time it might be worth calling it quits. It is a hard decision and I wish you all the best

  • I sounds like he is a bit immature. I wouldn’t stay, it would be so exhausting.

  • Also, books on dealing with conflict and relationships may help? Sometimes it can be less confronting to read information before counselling.

  • I would definitely suggest seeing a couples counsellor, for a 3rd party input by someone who can get all details… “Get along really well”, just be sure he isn’t pulling wool over your eyes =)
    however, if you find yourself generally unhappy, and the insecurities are making you more unhappy, well there is not point living life unhappy, I would say that would be time to get out!

  • Would couples counselling help? A third person as a mediator might be worth trying?

  • That must be so frustrating. Leaving after each quarrel is not a very mature behaviour! But you are the only that can decide what to do about this relationship.

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