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“Should I feel bad about making time for myself? I am considering joining the gym and it is $25 per week, plus there is all the time I would need to spend there without the kids. We are on a tight budget and I feel like I might be being selfish – do any other mums feel this way?”

Posted by Jenny, 11/04/13

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  • no you should not. I’m jealous


  • You are not feeling selfish you are trying your best to balance everything and be the best mum there is. A tired overworked mum is generally snappy and unhappy.


  • you are not being selfish it is good for you to go to the gym and it will make you feel good :)


  • I wouldnt feel selfish, if this is your time out and what you want to do, then do it without any guilt


  • Never feel selfish. You are wanting to be healthy and having a mum that is healthy can’t be bad. If it is used, you will also be a role model for your children – getting exercise…
    We mums have a habit for feeling guilty about a lot of things. This shouldn’t be one of them.


  • The easy answer is “No.Of course not.You should never feel bad for taking time for yourself to do something just for you.” The truth is,if you are anything like me, It’s really really hard not to feel bad when you take me time.

    This is something I really struggle with and am trying very hard to remedy. I put everyone else before me and always have to think long and hard about doing anything for me.

    My eldest daughter wants to go to a party? Sure. What time do you need me to take you and when do I pick you up and when would you like to go shopping for a present?

    My husband wants to go out with the boys? Sure. Go and have a good time. You work really hard to bring the money in and have a stressful career so go and have fun. I can watch the kids, I do it every day.

    Change of season. Does Hubby have new warm winter clothes? Does eldest daughter have new warm winter clothes? Does son have new warm winter clothes? Does youngest daughter have new warm winter clothes? Do those pants from three years ago still fit?

    I know that I need new clothes, or to get my hair done or i need to XYZ but there’s always something more important to do or someone else in the family who needs that little bit of money. If i get invited to something I don’t say “I’m going out with the girls on saturday so you are minding the kids dear husband” I say “I have been invited to something that will take x amount of time on this date would it be ok if you mind the kids? If not that’s no big deal as it will be this activity costing about this much plus extras and we have x to pay for in a month” and a lot of the time i just say no as i think there’s more important things to do.

    I know i shouldn’t feel bad and that i need to recharge myself from time to time but i do. I feel bad that i have to depend on others for something i’m supposed to do. This year i decided that enough was enough and i needed to force myself to take time out. I Haven’t had the courage to commit to something at the same time every week but i have been out for a few hours kid free on my own. I found it takes me about an hour and a half to get out of mum mode and stop thinking about how my ‘selfish’ actions are affecting others.But then I relax and have a good time. I’ve only been out for about 3 hours each time but it’s a little bit that helps. I do feel bad when i come home and more often than not still feel as though “why did i do that? I had fun whilst things needed to be done at home and now i’ve wasted my time because i’ve got less time to complete what i was doing”

    It’s a viscous cycle i want to break out of. I know my post isn’t really helpful but at least you know that you aren’t alone.


  • So long as you use the gym it isn’t wasting the $25 per week and is actually a fantastic investment, in YOU! You are your family’s most important asset.


  • Part of being a mother is always feeling guilty :) remind yourself that you need to put time into yourself to make you a better, healthier mother for your children. You don’t stop being you just because ou are now a mother. Good luck!!


  • NEVER!!! If you’re not happy, healthy and sane yourself…you will not be a good Mum to your kids. Us Mums also need a bit of TLC and self-pampering regularly.


  • no way! you will actually be a better mum by taking time out for yourself. it can be really hard getting burnt out and taking time for yourself is very important. i got he the gym and my little man loves the play room but he has always liked meeting new people.


  • no it is important for you to get out of the house without the kids and get healthy and a gym is a great thing to join :)


  • You should never feel bad about having ‘you’ time it’s so important to feel happy and enjoy life to! If your feeling in the dumps your family will to so you should do something’s for yourself!


  • My gym membership is the only money I spend on myself. We are on a tight budget too. It’s not selfish at all. You need time away from the kids and exercise is a great way to boost your energy levels and feel great from all the endorphins. There is the added bonus of helping you look great with a leaner trimmer body but I find the best benefit is the kid free time. Your family will benefit from it too. You will feel better physically and emotionally.


  • never feel bad taking time out for yourself! being a mum is very hard some days so I think it’s best for us to have some regular me time to reduce our stress levels!! and they say exercise makes you happy so that can only be a good thing!!


  • dont feel bad. taking time to yourself is a good thing. helps keep you level headed


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