9 Answers

I’ve suffered from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome for over 12yrs now. After I had my daughter 3yrs ago, I felt absolutely awesome for about 9 months (despite the lack of sleep haha) then it hit me bad again. I mean, I’m not as bad as some people. I can still do most things for myself but I get a serious case of the mummy guilts when I can’t play with my daughter sometimes when she asks me. I really want another baby but I guess I’m just scared of the toll it will take on my body. I was either in hospital or bed ridden my whole pregnancy and lost 11kg due to severe HG. Surprisingly I’m not as worried about it happening again even though it was scary as the first time!!
I just don’t want my children to miss out or feel like they missed out on anything because mummy wasn’t able to take them or do it with them. My husband is pretty supportive but still doesn’t understand the Chronic Fatigue. I’m unable to work. He works as hard as he can but with the current work situation, he may not have a job much longer. Its stressful everywhere that we turn. Then I feel selfish for even wanting another baby. Argh! haha
I guess I’m just after other opinions on what you would do in my situation or is there anyone else out there in the same situation?

Posted anonymously, 6th November 2015

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  • I wonder what you decided? I would be interested to know how you’re coping if you did decide to have more children

  • Hiya, definitely something that you should discuss with hubby – if you’re on the fence.. is NOT having another going to be a regret later on? If you have one, there are all kids of help and support you can get nowadays.

  • well you know the amount of work that is required to look after a child so you should decide whether you are ready for that. it is up to you to decide but do what is best for your family.

  • I agree with others, this is a question you and your hubby need to discuss. I just want to say that as a mum we always tend to be a little hard on ourselves and given your condition I think you need to focus on how good your doing instead of feeling guilty. Keep up great work :)

  • Hi, I feel this is not a question to be asking others ..only you and hubby can decide on this.
    However am I reading correctly that you have more than one child? either way rejoice and nurture the child or children you have and look after yourself and what will be will be.

  • That is a question only you have an answer for. Only you know if you will cope. You and hubby are the only 2 that can help you. Sorry I don’t have more answers fir you

  • Not sure what to suggest as this decision is a very personal one. My husband and I wanted two children before we got married, but then once we had one child, we both decided we didn’t want any more. We were hassled by family and friends to have more, but we knew what was best for us and have never regretted our decision. I guess you have to take all factors into consideration, and do whatever will be best for your family as a whole.

  • Sounds like you have put quite a bit of thought into this one – given how much your husbands help is needed, I would think his opinions are vital so you can continue to provide your family with the nurturing and supportive environment you currently have. We have one child and at times the desire for more niggles, especially when the one questions things. We could not have any more so are grateful for what we have – and we tell her this as often as the topic arises.

  • Difficult decision. One you have to take yourself. I’ve got a friend that doesn’t suffer of Chronic Fatigue but she had a lot of difficulties getting pregnant, suffered different miscarriages. When she was finally able to get pregnant, she had to spend 5 months in bed. Now her first daughter is 9 years old and she’d like to think about a second child. But she’s a little afraid. Because this time she couldn’t afford to stay in bed so long.
    If you have people around you that could help you in case of need, and you’d really like to extend your family… I would tell you to think positive. Hopefully your husband won’t lose his job and, if he does, he’d be strong enough to keep going and find another one. Have you talked about it with your doctor/rheumatologist? Could a second pregnancy make your illness worst?

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