20 Answers

I am a Mum of 2 and we are trying for a third. We have been trying for over 12 months and have lost one on the way. I have stopped working as we have moved but feel my life is on hold waiting for this baby to come? I am concerned about getting a full time job then finding out that I am again pregnant. Stuck on what I should be doing? Try for a baby, but also look for a job?

Posted anonymously, 22nd July 2014

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  • look for a job. It might also help you to get your mind off trying to get pregnant.

  • There is no reason for you not to work while waiting to become pregnant. Being occupied may actually be good for you, you don’t know how long this may take so you can’t put your life oh hold. You will be entitled to maternity leave and during that time you can decide if you want to continue working.
    Have you had a health check up? there may be some reason pregnancy is not happening.

  • do what you feel is best for you i completly understand where you are coming.its so hard to think of anything when you want somthing so bad! x

  • do what you feel is best for you i completly understand where you are coming. best wishes for you and your family xx

  • It’s a personal decision but I would just look for a job, maybe even part time. As you are aware, trying for a bub can take time…this way you will more spending money and maybe qualify for ppl :)

  • I had a similar dilemma. I hated my previous role, was going to work unhappy every day, which in turn started to affect my home life.. I was there for 3 years before I finally bit the bullet and took another job position.. 2 months in, we received the news we were expecting our first baby! Although timing was rough, The Company I work for have been fantastic with the news, allowing me to continue to work as long as I find suitable, and are more then happy for me to come back to work, allowing me to dictate the time I have off.. I did always want to take a full 12 months, but I am trying to be a little flexible to help them, as they have been so wonderful to be, and we have agreed on a 9month time frame..
    I’d say go for it, look for a job, it may take your mind off the stress of trying for baby :)

  • You never know how long it will take to get pregnant. The real considerations are 1. Do you currently have good maternity leave in your current role (and is it paid out straight away or only upon your return to work) – if the answer is nothing special or paid out on return to work, well then that probably isnt something worth staying for. Then consider 2. is the Paid Parental Leave/18 week scheme enough to get you by – if so, then go ahead and start looking (because you probably wont be able to access your new work location’s Mat leave rights because you wont be there long enough before hand). Once you are in the role they cant let you go just because you get pregnant, and even if you are already pregnant when interviewing you technically dont have to tell them you are (only after you are signed on the dotted line and are applying for Mat leave).

  • It sounds like work might help you take your mind off trying for the baby – trying for a baby should be a natural non-stressful process (although it is hard when you are so desperate for that little bundle to enter your life). If you can secure employment now you might have a good chance to access the parental leave scheme to assist with the costs when you have the baby – but I’m not sure how your financial situation is.

  • Look for a job while trying – your life shouldn’t stop.

  • It’s a hard decision but I’d go with looking for casual work that way if you get pregnant you can always come back and it should be fine with your workplace.

  • I wouldnt be looking for a full time job while trying to get pregnant, maybe as others have said look for casual work for now

  • Maybe look at casual work and still try for a baby might leave you with more options :)

  • i would go work if thats what you want!! i found out i was pregnant 5 weeks into a new job. i was SO SO nervous to tell them , but they were amazing!! They altered my position a bit (im in science so i couldnt be with the chemicals) they kept my job available while i went on maternity leave for 12 months and let me know i was welcome back earlier if i want. I was very lucky to have such an understanding employee.

  • I think if you have another focus like looking for work and then starting a new job the perhaps it will take so much of the focus off trying and things may just naturally occur. I’m sorry to hear of the loss of your baby.

  • Don’t sit around waiting. Get on with life. Everything will fall into place.

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