Hello!

I have a child with disabilities attending school. I have not announced this fact to other parents or students. He is in year two with an aid / assistant and will not act age appropriate when feeling angry sad frustrated etc… I have become harder on him with discipline but to no avail thus far. I was afraid of him being treated different but he already is being treated different without them knowing about his disability. No birthday party invites, play dates or even me over for a coffee anymore. As his peers matured he has not, although he looks fine and is so tall you might expect better of him thinking he is older. Should I reveal or allow this continue as it seems we have that label now.

Posted by anon, 31/7/13

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  • Hi, disability mum and disabled woman here. If he is being told it is his fault because others do not know why, he will internalise it and believe it is a personality fault. Admitting it is better, even with the stigma.


  • Yesterday in the playground some kids were telling my girl with Down syndrome that she was talking gibberish and started blocking her way. My girl started crying in a quiet corner, then stood up and started blocking their way in return.
    I told the kids that she doesn’t talk gibberish, but that she has Down Syndrome and has a speech delay and can’t talk so clear as they can.
    When the behaviours of blocking each others way continued, I led my girl off the playground, she was happy to leave.
    So yes, explaining a disability and delays is in my opinion a good thing to do.


  • My youngest has Down Syndrome and I made a profile / information sheet specific for parents and class mates so they have a better understanding.


  • I’m sorry, it must be a difficult situation to be in. Is your child aware that he may be being treated differently? Perhaps ask who his close friends are and ask them on play dates and inform the parents, if you feel comfortable.


  • I would let people know so they will be more understanding.


  • I would mention it to other parents in his class in passing and explain the difficulties so that it’s on their mind when the invites go out. Or speak to the teacher about possible friendships and invite them to play centres – we made sure we did big birthday parties for our son to make as many friends as he could and feel special


  • I would share. Putting a name as to why he sometimes behaves like he does may make it easier for other parents to deal with. They may then share the information with their children who may react differently to your boy. It can’t hurt, they’ve already shunned you both


  • Working with people with disabilities and their carers I always advise them to only disclose if it is necessary and if you feel comfortable to do so. You are under no obligation to tell people if you don’t wish to. In relation to the lack of social interaction it is common for people with disabilities to experience this as they are a little bit different. Maybe see if there is a disability support group or an inclusive recreation program you can get your son involved in to make some friends.


  • I would probably tell them so they ate more understanding and supportive.

    Mummy liana stop copying and pasting your answers without even reading people’s questions!


  • there are some good comments here


  • Did you decide to let people know?


  • It’s a tough call, but considering he is being judged already I’d probably tell them – chances are it will make things better, not worse


  • you should do whats comfortable to you! :)


  • I would let them know and talk to the other parents. But you have to do what you feel comfortable with.


  • Do whatever feels comfortable for you to do.


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