57 Answers

My inlaws want us to visit my brothers inlaws (his wife’s mum has only weeks to live), we don’t normally visit our brothers inlaws. Would it be odd for us to just visit now (they’d obviously know why) and if we do, what do you take – flowers & chocolates?? What do we say??? I would love some advice on this…Should we visit the inlaws?

Posted by Anon, 14/08/13

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  • Yes, I would visit when she only has some weeks to live. Whatever is between you, do whatever you can for her to go in peace. Just be open and supportive. I don’t think you need to give something, but you could ask if there’s anything you could bring or do (for example the laundry) or you could bring a cooked meal. Alternatively bringing a photo book and look to old pictures together could be good too.

  • I’d love a follow up. I hope all went well.

  • Only go if you feel comfortable going.

  • How did you go,hope it was all good!

  • Would love to know what you decide to do

  • Regardless of how much u saw them. I think it’s actual important for u to visit. Sounds like she is on her last legs. U say it’s good to see u not how r u obviously lol. What are they feeding u in here!

  • How did all go. Hope it went well.

  • Visit. This isnt about you, its about them! And anyway, imagine how you’ll feel if you don’t- regret is one of the worst things to cope with!

  • I would think sending a card and/or flowers would be enough to show them you care. They may not want “strangers” visiting in these final days….unless your brother would like you to go.

  • If my brother asked me.the same question, I would go. Your brother must need your support. Take some flowers, that’s always a nice thing to do.

  • Have a chat with your brother and see how things go otherwise a gift of flowers to show you are thinking of them could do

  • You most likely have nothing to lose – I do agree with others posters saying it might be a little odd but I am sure the thought would be appreciated regardless. Make sure that other family members that you know well are there at the time though to possibly make it a little easier all round.

  • talk to your brother if it make s you feel uncomfortable to visit then don’t send some flowers with a card saying that they are in your thoughts.i believe a person that shows that they are thinking of another person in their hard times helps especially if you don’t normally see them.a beautiful card and flowers.

  • Do what feels comfortable to you. I’m not close to any of my brothers in-laws so wouldn’t feel comfortable doing that. But there is no harm in sending a gift I guess so that they know you are thinking of them.

  • This is just my personal opinion. If you don’t usually visit them . It would seem odd to visit her, no dout she is feeling awful and to have people visit you who didn’t really have much to do with you in your life seems weird.
    If it was me I would only want my family and very close friends around me in this time if my life.
    It is up to you if you were to visit her u would recommend a nice pair of really comfy PJs. Hope everything goes OK.

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