I have several friends we were all in the over 100Kg club. I love them dearly like sisters or at least I did until they started treating me like a second class citizen. I have lost 30Kg through adopting a healthy lifestyle and now they don’t see me anymore. They don’t phone, sms or talk to me, facebook tag’s have stopped and they have become really catty. I don’t know why; it hurt’s so deeply. I don’t see them as bigger than me I see them as my soul-sisters. Why are they doing this to me?


Posted anonymously, 10th July 2019


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  • I would put it down to jealousy!



  • Jealousy maybe ? that you were successful and they were not at losing weight. Congrats by the way job well done. I think anyone that treats a friend like that probably wasn’t a good friend anyway so look after yourself and try not to let it upset you. Plenty more friends out there to find that will love you for you not how many Kg’s you are or aren’t.



  • This is really sad. It could be that their own self esteem is so low that they can’t face being confronted with someone that looks to have achieved what, may to them, seem unachievable.
    It might be worth letting them know that you haven’t changed – just your body. Well done to you. 30kgs is an amazing effort :)



  • Unless you’ve changed personality wise, it’s not you, it’s them. I have experienced people gain a huge confidence boost so huge after losing weight that they were “too good” for “uncool/unfit-looking” friends. If you’ve just been happier, as one would and should be after achieving such an incredible feat, then keep being happy and find yourself new friends who want you to be happy no matter what you look like. People are envious of all sorts of things, and it could be that your over 100 club is just that, for women who only feel happy being around others who are unhappy with their weight as they clearly are. Were they supportive of your lifestyle changes? It’s what’s inside that counts, and all that jazz.



  • It’s nothing personal. Time to move on.
    See it as they were your friends in that period of time.
    Now go looking for like-minded people and form a nice circle.
    There’s no need to hang on to that hurt feeling. At the end of the day, only you can allow what happens to you, so don’t give them the power to influence you. Say goodbye to them.



  • I think most likely they are jealous, plain and simple. They should still like/love you for who you are, not what you look like. Good on you for losing weight and chosing a healthier lifestyle.



  • Thinking that your so called friends can not handle what you have done and maybe do not know what to say to you. It is their loss but still it hurts for you that they have taken this attitude.



  • Sounds to me like they’re jealous. Look for the other positive people in your life and focus on them and focus on the most important person – you!



  • I’m going to be really blunt so I’m sorry if its hurtful. They’re jealous and bitter and tired of seeing you be what they want to be and hearing about how great you’re doing. How would you have felt if one of them had lost 30kgs while you were still struggling?



  • Sometimes people project on to you what they ‘think’ you are thinking and treat accordingly. It’s confusing and hurtful because they don’t give you a chance when what you assumed was that you were good friends. Maybe you could approach them one at a time and talk it over. Maybe though they’ll feel a bit embarrassed and still keep you at arms length so they don’t have to deal with that as well. I hope all works out.



  • Some people find change hard! Even if it positive, it may be hard for them to accept. Human nature can be funny, but don’t take offence, no that you are in your element now and feel the effects of positive change, other’s who witness this can retreat and may seem distant and that’s not your fault in any way.



  • That’s their real self then! You’re glowing – enjoy!



  • I think they are used to seeing the old You and maybe they feel about resentment or can’t relate as sometimes you may have changed for the better etc. Sometimes its good to share goals with each other so that thye might join in with you etc. but if they are negative its a bit hard as they could be struggling themselves . Maybe talk to one person whom you trust and then see what the problem is . Good friends remain loyal and share good and bad times and not just image.



  • They can’t relate to you anymore and a lot of people feel comfortable surounded by the same peers rather than have friend better dressed or skinnier than them.



  • I feel for you, just because you have lost weight isn’t a great reason to stop talking to someone. I am so sorry that this has happened to you. My advice is that it’s their loss, you have been a great friend to them but have found it in yourself to do something for yourself that made you happy, if they cannot accept you for that then they have real issues. Move on and find new and exciting friends – sometimes out with the old and in with the new is exactly what is needed to move on in life.

    Good luck :) xoxo


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