20 Answers

Every time I speak to my sister I always get criticised or just plain being bullied by her. She has lost a lot of weight in such a short amount of time, so she is constantly remarking “you’re so big you need to lose weight and walk/exercise” or “you eat all the wrong food”.  I know she means well, but every time I speak to her I get this! What do I do?  I can’t stand it anymore, it’s driving me insane!

Posted by sisterhood27, 16th April 2021

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  • You could let her know that you appreciate her concerns and can see she is saying from love, but the delivery of it is hurtful to you.

  • Limit your contact to basic communication needs for the short term.

  • Let her know that she’s actually bullying you and it’s very hurtful. You don’t need this and if she can’t accept you as you are, maybe she should stop coming around. What she is doing could be having a negative effect on you and how you feel about yourself.

  • Try to focus and be happy in yourself, thats was at truely matters.

  • For her to be outright telling you you’re big and need to lose weight, that’s not right. Not sure on what your relationship was like before she lost weight but if she’s coming from a good place – maybe just talk to her and let her know how you’re feeling? Not many people would go on to lose weight just because someone told them, they get there in their own time. Let her know that you appreciate that she cares about you enough to try but it’s your body and your life.

  • Tell her to back off. If it continues, some space may be needed.

  • I find family members always feel like they can say what they think without worrying about how it makes you feel. Let her know this is upsetting you. She may not realise.

  • Ask her if she realises how hurtful and rude her persistent nagging and criticizing is? If she keeps on doing it after you have said that no matter how well meant it is, it’s your decision and not hers, then tell her you will have to see less of her, because she is knowingly being hurtful. Your choices are your business, she shpuldnt be bullying you into how she thinks you should live yr life

  • I don’t think I can add much more to what has already been suggested. Thank her for her concern, but let her know you will run your life as you see fit.

  • I think you should just tell her the truth, that what she is saying hurts your feelings.
    Really it’s up to you when you want to start dropping the kilos and at what pace.

  • Tell her it’s hurtful and it’s not helping at all, if you are going to lose weight it will be when you are ready and not by someone else’s schedule, as she lost her weight so quickly there’s a chance she will gain it back the best weight loss is slow and steady. Just let me say if you are comfortable in your own skin don’t let anyone undermine you.

  • Be honest with her, just say I really appreciate where your coming from but I would really like if you would stop the remarks every time we talk please. If I want your advise for weight loss you will be the first one I come to

  • I think that her excitement at having lost weight with the accompanying wonderful feelings that go with being lighter, as a sister she wants the same for you, she possibly fears for your health if you remain overweight?
    Although, it sounds as though she is going about the wrong way out of her enthusiasm for her cause. I know how being nagged can turn you off doing what you are told, so it’s good to remind yourself that you don’t want to avoid making changes out of being annoyed with her, that losing weight will bring you YOUR OWN rewards, that you will be losing weight FOR YOURSELF, not to please your sister.

  • Yes I would try to have a conversation about this too.
    I would start with saying that you love her and that you’re proud of her weight loss achievement, but that the way she criticizes you is hurtful and disrespectful and that you would like her to stop with this. I would also say that when she continues to do so, it destroys your relationship and that you’ll have to protect yourself and chose some distance.

  • Tell her that your proud of what she has achieved, but you do not need her saying things to you as it is upsetting you and you will loose weight in your own time.

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