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My baby is 3 months old and I wondering if I should focus on trying to get him to self settle to sleep without me or to get him to follow a feed/sleep schedule? Do babies eventually naturally follow some sort of schedule without needing to wake them up or encouraging them to sleep?


Posted by mom450498, 30th May 2020


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  • Sleep training was amazing for my daughter but it is best to start from 4 months. There are many tecniques to help with self settling and it all depends on what you are comfortable with. I found an amazing lady on instagram who does sleep training and her guide was a life saver. We ended up being able to put my daughter to bed fully awake, she would play for about 5-10mins then just go to sleep. She also works on time as well which becomes so handy. If you want to check it out this is the site https://sleepingchildsaneparent.com/ and I used the 4-8 month dream key. Goodluck.


  • Why not do both? I had a a sleep schedule, that told me if your baby wakes during the nap period, to leave them in their sleeping place, without interfering with them.
    I had a friend who would go and get her babies up the second they opened their eyes. They still have difficulty self settling 5 years later.
    Ultimately it is up to you, what you choose to do. All the best


  • I started from about 6 months helping soothe and self settle.


  • Unless your baby was premature and you are advised to wake your baby for feeds, your baby may not need feeds as frequently as you are trying to do. That may even be the reason your baby is not self settling. Some babies will actually wake up when the nappy is wet or soiled, especially if they are prone to nappy rash of any type. Their poo may be burning your baby;s skin and be extremely painful. It is like of we get diarrhea. Many parents don’t believe in dummies. It may be that your baby finds comfort from them. You can always remove use of dummies later. It is better than letting your baby suck their fingers which can be harder to control. I know a child who actually pushed her jaw out of alignment as she sucked 3 fingers. Nothing they put on her fingers stopped her for a long time. They used to get up during the night and take her fingers out of her mouth.


  • Do what you and baby need for now. Babies do settle into their own routine when they are ready. 3 months is still quite young although you are probably seeing a slight routine starting to happen.


  • I would try a combination. Routines are always good, and it’s also good for babies to learn to self settle


  • From my experience babies find their own routine – and I personally think that is best. Although it took a little while, both my boys were able to self settle but had their own independent way of doing it


  • I think most babies eventually do find their own schedule. I would let him work it out himself. I’m not sure there’s a lot parents can really do to influence this.


  • With all 4 of my children they needed sleep training, my 1st and last were co sleepers so they were the most stubborn and didn’t get in a good routine until almost 3yrs old. I sleep trained my middle 2 once the night feeds dropped off at about 4 months and to this day they are great sleepers, it’s much easier the younger they are so I highly recommend, I did the cry it out method and with a video baby monitor it’s easier to check that they are ok without going in as that just extends the time it takes them to settle and if you do go in avoid picking them up just touch them so they know your there. Best of luck, it’s not easy for about 3 – 5 days.


  • Baby will find it’s own sleep pattern feed and sleep as they are contented. Lots of cuddles and hugs are good at this age. If mum and dad are calm mostly baby will be too. I personally had three different sleep patterns with my three children I just went with the flow. The pattern changes as baby grows 3 months still breast fed and 5-6 months got better longer sleep pattern with help of solid foods introduced.


  • Three months is still pretty young. Your baby will begin to develop a routine on their own after a while. Try concentrating on a bedtime routine. ie; play, feed, bath, bed.
    Hang in there. It will not last forever. Your baby will sleep through and you will sleep again too :)


  • If possible I would try not to force feed and sleep times. Sooner or later everybody settles down.


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