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Hi MoM. I’m in a situation and I’m not sure what to do.  My 8 yo daughter has been invited by a girl in her class to a sleepover party with only 1 other girl from the class. I don’t know the child or the parents. The other mum isn’t letting her daughter sleepover (presumably because she doesn’t know them either).  My daughter of course wants to go but I’m not sure. This has never happened before. Sleepovers is it OK if you don’t know the parents? What’s your advice?

Emailed by Nicole 17.12.2012


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  • I probably wouldn’t if I don’t know the parents


  • I feel like nowadays you have to extra careful


  • I would need to know the parents and child first!


  • I have always be careful and at the same time open about sleepovers because it’s very natural to worry about the family , home , environment etc. These days you do have to be careful don’t you . I look at a number of factors. Do you know her friends . Normally if a group of them stay over , I do feel safer . Are they in close proximity to your home. Normally they are one of the “locals ” . I have allowed my kids to sleep over numerous times as normally they are in groups and I drop them off and take them home after. Also you can talk to your daughter and ask , how many people are in the home , do they have bros or sisters etc and get an bit of idea the type of family .They are older now so they take care of themselves . Good luck with the choice you make .


  • I would want to know the family, and even then I would not allow an overnight stay.


  • Just be careful! There really interesting comments on this!


  • I would be reluctant to kept my kids stay with parents I’ve never met. I would start by asking around other parents, see what they have to say. Could you maybe invite them over for coffee before the sleepover


  • It would always be good to have a shorter visit first – this way you find out more about the child and the family.


  • personally i wouldn’t, you have no idea what goes on if your not there. so a hard NO unless i know the parents and kids and have been to their house


  • Have to say no in less you are able to meet the parents before hand far too much off a risk


  • Absolutely not ok! you need to at least have a coffee with the other parent before your daughter sleeps over. Google the parents too. Seriously, you need to know Who they are and where your daughter will be sleeping, eating, being cared for. This is not a time to feel peer pressure or to go along with it because you feel awkward. Check them out!


  • is there a way you can meet the family first? my son had a sleepover at our house at 8 with 3 friends. I wrote a personal note from the parents and most just rang and asked questions about any concerns they had. when they arrived I just took down their details etc. it is hard I know as I didn’t even like the idea of a sleepover at our house – sometimes you just have to go with your gut and maybe ask why the other mum isn’t allowing their child as well. Maybe you could talk to her and find out her concerns


  • What did you end up deciding to do?


  • These days you can never be too careful, I would check out what the parents were like first, I would like to meet them, you would not normally consider leaving your child with a complete stranger and this should be no different.


  • Did she end up going?


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