Why is my son scared to use the toilet at preschool?

I know this is a similar question to one recently, but my 4 year old son won’t use the toilet at preschool. He has only been trained for around 4 months or so, was petrified of using the toilet but we finally got there, and is now happy to go pretty much anywhere other than preschool. We have talked to the child care teachers and they fill him with water to encourage him to go, take him on his own in case going in front of the other kids is the issue, we take him when we first arrive and when we pick him up, but he will hold it in all day. Come 3pm when we collect him he is absolutely busting and we have had to stop the car on the way home for him to go, or it’s the first thing he does when he get’s home. And it’s absolutely massive. I’m concerned that this may cause an infection. We’ve tried everything (sticker charts, rewards, taking toys off him etc). Any advice would be appreciated.

Posted by anon, 31/10/13

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- - mummy liana said
  - 28 Mar 2014
    2:21 am
there are some good comments here
- - ljsalomon said
  - 26 Jan 2014
    1:29 pm
Did you find out why?
- - tobysmummy said
  - 03 Jan 2014
    12:35 pm
Could it be a lack of privacy…? He just might not feel comfortable
- - kathryn said
  - 29 Dec 2013
    8:57 pm
does he go when you drop him off? maybe he doesn’t want to go with staff or other children there?
- - meltingmoment said
  - 29 Dec 2013
    12:23 am
Did you find out what was causing him not to go at pre-school?
- - coppin85 said
  - 28 Dec 2013
    7:42 pm
i really hope it worked out
- - mggarner said
  - 27 Nov 2013
    9:40 am
he might be self conscious?
- - mggarner said
  - 26 Nov 2013
    4:15 pm
Really hope that he is able to go soon
- - mle00 said
  - 15 Nov 2013
    7:37 pm
If its one of those open plan toilet settings like at our preschool he may just be shy, time may make it easier, talk to his teachers and see how they go!
- - azmaz said
  - 14 Nov 2013
    7:14 am
be patient, he will eventually like to be like other kids and do the same
- - haldem337 said
  - 12 Nov 2013
    10:21 pm
Give him time. It’s only early days, and he will soon learn that going to the toilet is much more pleasant than holding on or having an accident. Patience is the key here
- - mouse said
  - 06 Nov 2013
    9:07 am
He will get there, give him some time
- - miss smith said
  - 03 Nov 2013
    7:01 pm
I’ve noticed the doors on the toilets at our pre school are half the height of a normal door so maybe he’s scared that others can see him or maybe he doesn’t feel comfortable going with a teacher present. Filling him up on water certainly can’t be nice for him tho!
- - annette_ritchie said
  - 03 Nov 2013
    3:01 pm
unfortunately i dont have any advice but am keenly reading this as my 7year old wont go number 2’s at school, goes two or three times once we are home. Must be awful that your little man wont go at all. good luck
- - sonja_holness said
  - 02 Nov 2013
    11:25 pm
I think some times it can be performance anxiety due to the fact that most day care toilets aren’t exactly private, we worked out this was why our daughter was refusing to go at day care.