45 Answers

I know this is a similar question to one recently, but my 4 year old son won’t use the toilet at preschool. He has only been trained for around 4 months or so, was petrified of using the toilet but we finally got there, and is now happy to go pretty much anywhere other than preschool. We have talked to the child care teachers and they fill him with water to encourage him to go, take him on his own in case going in front of the other kids is the issue, we take him when we first arrive and when we pick him up, but he will hold it in all day. Come 3pm when we collect him he is absolutely busting and we have had to stop the car on the way home for him to go, or it’s the first thing he does when he get’s home. And it’s absolutely massive. I’m concerned that this may cause an infection. We’ve tried everything (sticker charts, rewards, taking toys off him etc). Any advice would be appreciated.

Posted by anon, 31/10/13

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  • there are some good comments here

  • Did you find out why?

  • Could it be a lack of privacy…? He just might not feel comfortable

  • does he go when you drop him off? maybe he doesn’t want to go with staff or other children there?

  • Did you find out what was causing him not to go at pre-school?

  • i really hope it worked out

  • he might be self conscious?

  • Really hope that he is able to go soon

  • If its one of those open plan toilet settings like at our preschool he may just be shy, time may make it easier, talk to his teachers and see how they go!

  • be patient, he will eventually like to be like other kids and do the same

  • Give him time. It’s only early days, and he will soon learn that going to the toilet is much more pleasant than holding on or having an accident. Patience is the key here

  • He will get there, give him some time

  • I’ve noticed the doors on the toilets at our pre school are half the height of a normal door so maybe he’s scared that others can see him or maybe he doesn’t feel comfortable going with a teacher present. Filling him up on water certainly can’t be nice for him tho!

  • unfortunately i dont have any advice but am keenly reading this as my 7year old wont go number 2’s at school, goes two or three times once we are home. Must be awful that your little man wont go at all. good luck

  • I think some times it can be performance anxiety due to the fact that most day care toilets aren’t exactly private, we worked out this was why our daughter was refusing to go at day care.

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