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How do I speak to my husband about his mental health? I’m after advice on how to broach mental health issues with my husband. He works long hours and is often tired but has erratic sleep patterns, sometimes going to bed without dinner by choice. He’s also very moody in cycles and hard to live with and I worry he’s showing signs of depression. Any advice on how to talk to him about it or self-diagnose would be great. Thanks.

Posted by anon, 03/09/13

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  • Working long hours, being tired, skipping dinner, erratic sleep patterns are good reasons to be moody. I would just speak out your concerns about that and how important it is to have a good balance in live of work, relaxation, socialisation and relationships. Don’t go into self diagnosis, suggest professional help when needed but these are steps he has to make himself.


  • Husbands hate admitting something might be wrong and hate going to the doctors. Start by gently asking him how he truly feels. Tired? Anxious? Etc and work from there. Communication is the key.


  • I would be suggesting a visit to your GP for starters, Men are known for their reluctance to visit medical professionals, but you need to persist. It may not be a big issue that’s easy fixed, and it may be an issue that needs time and work. Good luck


  • It could just be stress and jack of sleep from what you’ve written. All hubbies are one of a kind so I’m at a loss as to how you should talk to him about this


  • Husbands can be tough nuts to crack! You’ll just have to sit him down and tell it like it is. Explain how you’re feeling, why you think what you’re thinking. It might take a couple of these chats to get through to him, but keep trying


  • I do hope this is going well for you!


  • PLEASE see your doctor or contact lifeline for some professional advice. If it is important enough to post, you should really get some proper help love. I wish you well.


  • You need to be honest but not attacking,


  • Sounds like my husband. I started telling him how it was making me feel and that I did not need to stress about him and his moods whilst I am pregnant. Dropped little hints about getting help, leaving out leaflets from Beyond Blue that I told him had fell out a magazine etc. He has started getting help :-) Hope all goes well.


  • Omg. Don’t try and find a way to approach your husband. It’s so confronting. What are you going to do. Say honey. Let’s talk about how you’re a fruit loop.
    Is he actually diagnosed with a mental disorder?? Or do you just think he’s cranky pants working long hours?
    Maybe surprise him with a booked weekend away.
    Have a favorite meal of his.
    Say. How are you feeling? You seem really tired.
    Anything you want to talk about?
    Try the soft approach. Then jump in with the fact he sounds normal. Pressures are high these days. The strain is difficult.


  • Visit the Beyond Blue website and you complete the K10 check list. That will give you an indicator if it is depression or not. Will he talk to you, or has something changed at his work? The hours sound extremely stressful. You may enlist one of his friends to talk to him on your behalf. If you can get him to a GP, please do.


  • Mental health problems are hard to talk to anyone about but do not try to self diagnose please. Do talk to him maybe start by what you have observed and tell him how concerned you are then suggest that he see your gp about it either with you or without you


  • How did you go with this?


  • I think you just have to come out with it, you’re only doing it because you care. Goodluck


  • I hope all is going well. Just be honest. He knows you love him.


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