How do I speak to my husband about his mental health? I’m after advice on how to broach mental health issues with my husband. He works long hours and is often tired but has erratic sleep patterns, sometimes going to bed without dinner by choice. He’s also very moody in cycles and hard to live with and I worry he’s showing signs of depression. Any advice on how to talk to him about it or self-diagnose would be great. Thanks.

Posted by anon, 03/09/13

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  • It could just be stress and jack of sleep from what you’ve written. All hubbies are one of a kind so I’m at a loss as to how you should talk to him about this

  • Husbands can be tough nuts to crack! You’ll just have to sit him down and tell it like it is. Explain how you’re feeling, why you think what you’re thinking. It might take a couple of these chats to get through to him, but keep trying

  • I do hope this is going well for you!

  • PLEASE see your doctor or contact lifeline for some professional advice. If it is important enough to post, you should really get some proper help love. I wish you well.

  • You need to be honest but not attacking,

  • Sounds like my husband. I started telling him how it was making me feel and that I did not need to stress about him and his moods whilst I am pregnant. Dropped little hints about getting help, leaving out leaflets from Beyond Blue that I told him had fell out a magazine etc. He has started getting help :-) Hope all goes well.

  • Omg. Don’t try and find a way to approach your husband. It’s so confronting. What are you going to do. Say honey. Let’s talk about how you’re a fruit loop.
    Is he actually diagnosed with a mental disorder?? Or do you just think he’s cranky pants working long hours?
    Maybe surprise him with a booked weekend away.
    Have a favorite meal of his.
    Say. How are you feeling? You seem really tired.
    Anything you want to talk about?
    Try the soft approach. Then jump in with the fact he sounds normal. Pressures are high these days. The strain is difficult.

  • Visit the Beyond Blue website and you complete the K10 check list. That will give you an indicator if it is depression or not. Will he talk to you, or has something changed at his work? The hours sound extremely stressful. You may enlist one of his friends to talk to him on your behalf. If you can get him to a GP, please do.

  • Mental health problems are hard to talk to anyone about but do not try to self diagnose please. Do talk to him maybe start by what you have observed and tell him how concerned you are then suggest that he see your gp about it either with you or without you

  • How did you go with this?

  • I think you just have to come out with it, you’re only doing it because you care. Goodluck

  • I hope all is going well. Just be honest. He knows you love him.

  • Good luck with it all sweetheart!

  • Try to approach him indirectly. Don’t show him that you are worry as this can worry him even more. Don’t tell him he has a mental problem as he will get mad.

    It’s quite hard to talk to him. You never know how he will react. Maybe you can encourage him to take some holiday, work less. Go outside to refresh his mind. This will improve his situation. Encourage him to talk about his feeling to you, and be very patient.

  • Talk to him when neither of you are in a rush to do something or go somewhere. Preferably when you can be home alone, so there aren’t “little ears” listening. Rather than say “What’s your problem?” which could be seen as a criticism, let him know that you’re worried that he’s running himself into the ground, and you want to know if there’s anything you can do to help.

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