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My 8 year old goes to bed fine but wakes at about 2am most nights. She then comes into our room saying she is scared. We put her back to bed, to only have it happen about an hour later. Any suggestions on how we can stop this?


Posted by mom57522, 9th May 2014


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  • Sit her down and explain that every time she gets up that you will now be taking her straight back to bed. If it takes 20 times then that’s how often you’ll do it.
    Put an extra blanket on her when you go to bed.
    The first time she gets up, tell her what you had explained earlier and take her back to bed, put her in and walk out. Do this however many times it takes. It will probably take between 2-4 nights and then wont happen again. Sleep Is so important for you but more so for her.


  • We use a reward chart and we have lights on in the house during the night.


  • Our 4 yo did this after too many weeks with disrupted sleep we may an effort to return her to her bed whenever she came in, even if we did it over and over again in one night, even for a couple of nights in a row. Soon the entries into our room reduced and the behaviour stopped totally.


  • We have different set up in our house, I am single mum, but I still live at home as mum as I never moved out (cheaper, and needed support) I have one 9yr old boy who sleeps fine throughout the night every night, but my 9yr old brother will not – Same deal, 10-30 minutes after we go to bed he is in my bed (no room in mums) and sleeps with me. We’ve tried putting him back to bed, tried stories about staying in bed, tried night lights and radios and leaving the tv on, everything. nothing works he’s just lonely. Not during the day, he needs his space, (asd so room sharing is an issue) but at night needs someone.


  • my Son use to do that and hubby asked me one day when did I think it would stop and I assured him that he would not be bringing his wife into our bed, once they hit a certain age it will stop but they do start to have bad dreams and just want to feel safe


  • It’s natural at that age to have fears fear of the unknown shadows sounds anything can trigger the imagination ,maby you could try a salt lamp it gives off a very calming Golden pinkish light and also takes out salt from the air. His are always a help off she gets up hug her tell her is alright turn on her light let her see is her space I try make my daughter’s space a beautiful retreat so she is happy in her room but yeah salt lamps are a great investment for sleep great for when your feeding babies too. .


  • Maybe try a dream catcher in her room or a night light with the sound of the radio


  • Talk to her about it and tell her she is not allowed to come into your room again at night. If she does you take her straight back to her bed. it may take a few nights but soon she will get the message. Be firm and consistent that is the key.


  • I would pick a time during the day to discuss with her what is scaring her.
    If you cant really establish anything then try such things as nightlights.
    If it is happening every night then perhaps its just a habit and rather then being really scared she wakes and then just comes into you and says shes scared as a habit. Its comforting so its just a matter of trying to get her to break the habit.
    If she says shes scared of monsters or such things then try the night light and give her a spray bottle with Monster Spray so that she can spray her room before bed and urge her to use this if she wakes during the night…tell her she is a big girl now and can deal with it herself. Make sure you put something sweet smelling in the bottle. Lavender scent might be a good idea for its calming properties.


  • Have you talked about what’s making her scared, something could be going on at school, things like this with my kids normally indicate something is happening at school so I go and see the teacher, if not talk about it and try and resolve the reason why, try a nightlight if it’s to do with the dark or a special teddy to keep her safe, like her saviour. It usually is a phase, I found my kids were getting picked on about something minor in the playground and it plays on their minds at night as they are not thinking their brain just keeps ticking over and over and it stirs up feelings they don’t know how to process. Good luck but best outcome is to talk and resolve it together, if you get cranky each time it happens she just gets worked up again that’s why she would return.


  • It’s a hard situation, but try and keep her calm and relaxed before she goes to bed. Not too much to drink, so she doesn’t need to get up and go to the toilet once she’s asleep, and no sugary foods either. It will require persistence and patience, but you need to keep putting her back in her own bed, and telling her that that is where she sleeps. She and you will sleep much better in the long run if you can do that.


  • Try a night light. and you must be firm when putting her back to bed. don’t slack off cos then she wins.


  • Ask her why? What is happening? Also check what’s she doing the hour before bed..if she is extremely active then her body and mind haven’t had time to calm down. No TV at least an hour before bed,you don’t want her stimulated.


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