Her issues are beyond the standards for her age of 14. She is in group therapy with other kids with the same issues at school. She has it for the most part under control at school. Private therapy didn’t work, we went once a week for six months and she didn’t speak one word, but waited until the end when the therapist let her choose up to five pieces of candy as a reward for doing nothing. She is that stubborn that she would sit there for an hour just to get candy. She has now bonded with me (my sibling daughters are adopted from one of the worst multi abuse cases the county has ever seen), trusts me and lets me be her therapist. Thankfully I took tons of classes learning how to understand, work with and help my daughters. We use the extreme reward and mild to moderate punishment system (no spanking or hands on punishment). My daughter can go from extremely happy to totally deep seated anger in the flash of an eye, you can actually see it when it happens. That’s when I ask her if she wants to talk before it gets out of hand and usually she does. We use hand signals as reminders, but it still happens if I’m not right there to catch it. We don’t know what to do and since it is me (mom) she has closely bonded to and trusts, I feel it is my responsibility to help her learn how to come to terms with her anger and attitude problem. If anyone has any ideas or information could you please help? I’m open to any advice except physical punishment. I’m seriously considering taking her to the doc to see if there is a medication to help her calm down while she learns to control her problems, which she is very aware of.
Posted by seanac, 10th March 2014