What would you do? There has been no bonding. Now the new step mother is on the scene bringing around cards etc at the house. No permission. Called the child the wrong name. Turned up to the school. The other parent took an axe to the caravan infront of the children.

Posted by Cynthea Jenke, 20th July 2015

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  • Talk to a lawyer. You may need a family court order, and possibly an AVO. Once you have these, you have a clear basis to set boundaries.

  • The axe situation is disturbing – is an avo warranted? I dont think there is a lot you can do if they turn up in public areas unless there is a court order stipulating otherwise. Sounds like self mother is trying to forge a relationship. Some people are old school and think they can turn up at your house anytime, then wonder why you’re not home. If you’re uncomfortable you need to say something – ask her to call first, that’s usually enough to dissuade someone

  • sounds like theres more to this than just what has been written, could the Step mum be trying to make an effort with you also? at least they want to see the child but obviously if there has been violence involved then you must protect your child, and report anything that is dangerous or illegal. but some step parents are good and just want to be involved and accepted. Im not a step parent but I know quite a few good ones.

  • WOW! Not good. You must voice your concerns with the school if there is one. If you have a court order regarding visitation she needs to abide by these rules. You ex needs to control her. You need to have boundaries set and agreed to. You and your ex must agree that this person is coming to pick up your child. I do think it might be a good idea to get to know her and keep her on your side just so you can control the situation better. She sounds like she needs help in what’s right and acceptable. She may just need guidance. The children must never be in danger and if a incident happens that is not right report it to the police and have it recorded for the courts. (Just in case) Kids First I say… think of the kids.

  • Yikes. Some big boundary crossing there! Start by having a meeting/discussion with them when the child is not around listening. Express your expectations about being called prior to visits and the need for the designated person to pick the child up from school- no surprises. If you do have arrangements for them to see the child ask them to stick to that. What was the original agreement? Maybe review time with each parent if they are wanting more. Can they have a Saturday morning visit or something? Then you can also discuss discipline and keeping things consistent. Sounds like they haven’t been around though so small short visits with strict guidelines may be best. I’m not sure the context of the Axe… Do they chop wood for fire? Or was it in appropriate use? Find out before raking action, but do talk to them (or an external party) if needed!
    If they do not listen to you and keep crossing boundaries than get some extra support… Lawyer who can draw up an agreement? Call into your local police station and ask for advice? I’m sure others will have ideas about how to take action!

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