Hi mums my 22 month old daughter who was calm child most of the time accept mealtimes Started to cry endlessly lately and nothing calms her down.

It seems the cries are not triggered by major things, sometime someone would go out to threw the rubbish and close the door behind him/her as she will run to road unstoppably if we leave the door open and she will start crying throwing herself on the walls or the ground and nothing you do clams her down.

It is getting out of hand now she will scream an hour by kicking and throwing herself on everywhere I am afraid she will hurt herself. Other time she will wake the middle of the night, screaming and kicking her coat and wake up everyone. Is this an ok stage for toddlers or should I worry? Do other mums face similar problem?

It has been a week and half now and it really driving me insane and don’t know what to do with it, because nothing you do stops the crying and it seems the more you talk or give attention the more she cries and continues to cry and it is my mum whom I live with who does the talking and the attention. Any advice will be welcomed


Posted by akaan, 6th January 2015


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  • Doing the Circle of Security course did wonders for us.
    It broke down child behaviour in a such a simple way, when my child acts a certain way it now makes sense.

    With the leaving the front door scenario, if I were to have that situation with my child, I would explain to her that I was just going to put the rubbish out and I’ll be back very soon. And would announce to her that I came back like I said I would right after. It takes more effort, but that way she learns that it’s okay. People come back. After a while it won’t need to be explained.
    I had a similar scenario with bed time. It took some effort, but after reiterating that I will be there every time she called out or needed me, in the end she now goes to sleep without a fuss. But I made sure I was always there when she did call.

    But yeah, Circle of Security is probably the best course out there for parents. I recommend it for everyone.


  • Tantrums are normal for 2 year old when they start realizing they have an own will. But by the sound of it this goes a bit further when you say she she will start crying throwing herself on the walls or the ground and nothing you do clams her down and cries endlessly.
    When she throws herself against the wall I think your fear she hurts herself is real.
    Like some other mums suggested I would think about any changes lately which might have been traumatic for her and have her checked by a Gp to rule out any medical conditions or autism.


  • Tantrums are only tantrums..They end..Ignoring the drama..Understanding the age. being patient. firm. after say do you want a hug?


  • Some really good suggestions have been presented here. I have experience of working with children on the autism spectrum. I would suggest a visit to you G P for a referral to rule out medical conditions. Often children do not display autistic behaviours until about two years of age. Have a think about any changes to family dynamics, big changes or even small changes can trigger such outbursts she does not have the language skills to explain what is upsetting her so much.it seems to me that her meltdowns may stem from separation anxiety, have any of the people she has had friendships with moved away? Has her trust been shattered in some way? Has she been exposed to grief of a relative or friend passing away? And the ugly elephant in the room…has she been mole steered? Think really hard about this, and who may have the opportunity? The meal time thing may be an associated event that triggers her memory of trauma.


  • My son was doing this, turned out to be bad ear infections, it ended up to the point that if he started throwing tantrums I knew to take him to docs as his ear infection was back! A trip to gp wouldn’t hurt to out rule any other conditions.


  • At 22 months she is starting to have a lot of emotions that she doesn’t understand. It is our job as parents to help guide them through those emotions. Unfortunately she will probably go through a period of them. Sit down and hold her. Let her know you are always there for her. When she calms down enough talky o her about it. It is really normal behaviour for her age.


  • I would also suggest a visit to the GP and work from there.


  • Try to think what has changed to cause this behavior, new people around, someone no longer around, day care perhaps or what is a big cause diet a small change in diet could be the cause due to a additive


  • My daughter would wake at night screaming uncontrollably as she had terrible growth pains, this lasted for many years. I would take yours to your GP just to eliminate any medical reason for her behaviour.


  • I would suggest you rule out any medical problems by visiting your GP. They can also give you advice and support and refer you for any other help.


  • It may be an anxiety disorder. If other suggestions given don’t work I suggest you seek medical advice. If your child goes to childcare at all, maybe speak to the staff of the group she is in and see if they can make any suggestions. Does she have problems communicating with you and you not able to understand what she is saying or asking for? That will make her very frustrated and upset. Have you started adding different foods to her diet? She may be having a reaction to either food or other things that agitate her. I have relatives and friends with children who have reactions to various foods. No signs of hayfever, skin rash, just mood swings and tantrums. Is her hearing definitely good? If uncertain have it checked – some are deaf to some tones (so are adults) or hate loud noises. One of ours will tell you if music or other noise is too loud. He hates some kitchen equipment and will run to the other end of the house while it is being used.


  • stand in front of her holding both hands and say to reason why she cannot go outside, say that you do not like her screaming and that she can have a hug as soon as she quietens down.
    Put say 10 stars on the fridge each morning and each time she screams let her know that your removing a star, at the end of the day give her a reward if there is still say half the stars still on the fridge and also let her know that if all the stars are still there by the end of the day she will be rewarded with (whatever you think is a good reward for her) It will take awhile for her to get the idea.
    Eating what is good for her bones/muscles and skin can be told to her (referring to other children who don’t get sick or do not scream) eating fruit and vegetables with her, in a picnic atmosphere, while playing out side show her how strong she is getting and encourage
    you eat one mum eat one or other household members, get her to show other household members the stars on the fridge
    Best of luck take your time with her and say you are not hurt or sore so why are you screaming as I cannot speak to you or give you a hug if your screaming, when she does something well or good tell her that it is good and that she is being a very good/nice girl/person


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