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I have a almost 3 yo grandson who will not be toilet trained. He is totally anti toilet training- he will not sit on the potty, and we have brought 3 different types. He won’t sit on the toilet, doesn’t like underwear, insists on nappies, when we have undies on him he will not tell you if he has to go, he will just wet or dirty his pants and carry merrily on his way. We have tried a chart with stars put on when he sits on the potty, also toys, marshmallows (his favourite), really making it a big thing when he sits on it, but all to no avail. Even the girls at his daycare when he goes are trying, with no results. What should we do? Any other ideas?


Posted by hellanbac, 17th June 2014


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  • It sounds like he just isn’t ready. I’d try again in a couple of months and try not to put too much pressure on him.


  • Give it a break for a few weeks then try again. There is no point trying to force him if he doesn’t want to. He will go in his own time.


  • there is usually some good books you can get from the library that will give you hints and tips


  • Put a rubber ducky in the poddy for him to aim his urine at, if he see’s it as a game it might work with his training just start with urine first then when he’s comfortable number twos


  • make it fun i useed stickers to get my son to use the toitet he used to stick them on the toilet it selfs to show him how many times he haas used it i also said that the toilet fairys bring you a present once you are toilet trained he wonted a freman sam so thats what he got fairys put it on his bed one night once he was trained worked for all three children


  • My first son was similar and I just took it slowly and gave him time and by 3.5 he was fully trained. My youngest son was much easier and fully trained by 3. Patience is the key and making sure they are ready, and not training them because you think they should be trained by now.


  • Google the “3 day potty training” method and check it out. Having the nappy fairy come to take the nappies away and buying different ones (pull ups) for nighttime could help too. Good luck!


  • My son was nearly 4 or just turned 4 before he started co-operating. It’ll happen. Just unfortunately not until they’re ready. I wouldn’t worry too much.


  • WAIT. The only thing you’re successfully doing is making it all stressful and hard for yourself and your grandson. My son was just over 3yo and took 6 months to “get it” and he was keen to start. Until the child is really ready, interested and keen it’s a waste of energy. Focus on other things, if he’s showing interest then have a few naked-bottom days at home but I would leave it a good few months for now. There is no right or wrong age for TT, my twin girls are 14m younger than my son and both were reliably day-trained well before him, one was even night trained before he was day-trained. Be patient, be kind. He’s just not ready yet, and that’s ok.


  • When he is ready he will start to show interest in wanting to use the potty or toilet. The girls at his daycare should know this. I think that forcing him to use either may delay him longer


  • He just not ready so don’t push it
    It will happen when he is ready
    You don’t want to scare him completely and make it a bad experience later down track


  • He isnt ready yet do it when he is ready


  • They’re all different. My daughter was out of nappies at 20 months! My son wasn’t really interested until 3 years 1 month. But once he was ready he nailed it. That was 3 months ago. Quite often dry all night too. I agree – wait for summer.


  • we have tried with success 4 times a bright ping pong ball in the toilet,, we made it into a game so the kids had to aim for it and they loved it.. plus it doesnt flush down the loo!


  • I had the opposite, my girl would sit on the loo fine, but didn’t do the act. It took me months to realise she didn’t want an audience of myself, so hid around the corner, and she finally did one. So maybe take this onboard too, because if I knew this earlier, I wouldn’t of being standing right next to her. Within a fortnight she was done and haven’t looked back. But it does sound like he is not quite ready yet. He will surprise you I reckon, and when he does go successfully, jump up and down for joy and reward him :) Goodluck


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