Hello!

I need help urgently with toilet training my nearly 4year old! I have been trying to toilet train for for a year now and having some major problems! She won’t go to the toilet, she will hide and go wherever she’s hiding, she will put a pull up on any chance she gets! What should I do? I’ve tried and tried, and really don’t know what else to do! I’ll ask her all the time if she needs the toilet, I’ll take her but she just won’t go!

Posted by anon, 18/09/13

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  • Hope some of the advice below has helped.


  • maybe tell her that only big girls who use the toilet are allowed to go to kindy or school


  • Have any suggestions helped with her?


  • how did you go? :)


  • How are you going now?


  • When she is on the toilet try running some water in the sink, with the sound of water running it might help her go


  • Is she around other kids at all – when they see other kids using the toilet it seems to help.


  • Somehow I think she can tell it is stressing you out. Try not to get mad at her.


  • 4 is quite old for this to still be happening. Try explaining they are big now and maybe try a potty and see if tis helps


  • Would love to know aswell, thanks for posting.


  • we had the same thing with our son. He just could not get motivated to go, not even with bribery of toys and snacks. In the end, he soiled his pants at a party and all the other kids were shocked. I think the embarassment did it, It was the last time it happened. Sometimes I think, for some kids, they have to realise/decide it for themselves…


  • bribary!!!! get her to choose a doll or toy she really wants and then tell her if she uses the toilet for a week you will get her the doll or toy, worked for us for getting my son to use the toilet and also for my daughter to stay in her bed lol


  • Good luck hun I have no experience with Toilet training just wanted to wish you luck


  • consistency is the key and talk to her about why she will not go on the toilet ie she could be afraid or had a bad experience. this will help you to reassure her and get to bottom of problem then you can fix it!


  • Little kids are often scared of the splash, and the flush… Try talking to her about this. My son went to the toilet like a dream on the potty, but the loo, no go. For him, it was the splash with number twos he didn’t like. I remember being scared of the flush as a chid, I wouldn’t do it, lol, drove my mum insane. Whatever it is, it’s better to address it than just try draconian measures to force the child. A session with a counsellor could be good if the child won’t confide in you… Or you could ask someone else they trust to speak to them. Now, if the child won’t use the potty either, the same applies, their might be some reason or fear behind it. Maybe she thinks the potty will bite her bum, or it might be uncomfortably tight and she might worry she will get stuck! Good luck.


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