10 Answers

I had just found out i was pregnant with baby number 3. I was in shock, scared and did not know what to do. I cried for a day. By the next day i was excited, thinking of names, wondering how to announce etc. I made my doctor appointment and then the next day I miscarried. I would have only been 5/6 weeks but now I am here a week later not knowing how to feel. Is it silly to be sad when it was so early? Guilty because I wasn’t sure I wanted another baby? Angry that this happened? Glad because it wasn’t the best time financially especially with the current covid-19 situation?
My thoughts are so jumbled right now.

Posted anonymously, 13th April 2020

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  • You are feeling everything and that is perfectly fine. I have had a miscarriage myself. I was 11 weeks and no matter how far along you are you were carrying a baby so grieve. The best thing I did was talk to people about it! You’d be surprised how many people have been through it but never talked about it!!!

  • I hope you have plenty of support from your husband / partner. You may have to really support each other. He will be grieving too – admittedly in a different way but may try not to show it or admit to it. Possibly some of your relatives especially the grandparents will be upset too. Some people won’t know what to say. You probably need people you can talk to even if they are just good listeners. If you feel you need counselling, don’t hesitate and it may help you “heal” quicker

  • I can feel your pain as it happened with me when I was pregnant third time, didn’t want a baby at that time but after 7th week miscarriage I felt sad and guilty but then when I think about that I knew everything happens for a reason. Don’t worry about that some things, are out of our control.

  • I don’t thinnk there is a right or wrong way to feel. Everyone feels differently and the emotions you’ve described I imagine is probably what most people would feel that would be in a situation similar to yours. I can imagine it would be a jumble between relief, anger and sadness given what you have mentioned. Chin up

  • It’s not silly to feel sad. He/she was your baby. And it sounds pretty normal to have very mixed feelings. Give yourself a while; your feelings probably will clarify a bit with a little bit of distance.

  • Im so sorry, swnding you love and sympathy. Grief is grief. You lost a huge part of your life. You expected to have that little bundle of joy in your life forever. You are absolutely allowed to be sad. Miscarriage is so common that it gets swept under the rug like depression and it shouldn’t be. You need love and support around you right now. I lost a baby at 11 weeks and 5 days. We had a 5 year old son already and had been trying to get pregnant for a while. When I lost her I was a mess, my mental health went way downhill. I lost her at home alone, I drove myself to the hospital and when I was waiting in line at the doctors there was 2 teenage girls laughing at me because I was in ugh boots, cookie monster pjs and a dressing gown. They didn’t even care that I was bawling my eyes out and was covered in blood. 2months after I lost claire I found out I was pregnant, we hadn’t planned it. I was so scared. I didn’t tell anyone until was flown to royal Adelaide with appendasitis and needing laproscopic surgery at 16 weeks.

    Everyone needs to grieve otherwise it comes you. It made me feel better to name her and I got a special teddy in honor of her. It does not matter what other people think. This is your family, your life. Xx sending love mumma

  • No one can tell you how you should or shouldn’t be feeling, only you know that. A loss is a loss, it was still a child to be and you have every right to be sad about it

  • Sorry for your loss it’s very sad but be strong and look after yourself

  • I am sorry for your loss.
    It’s normal to be sad. And also all the feelings you had in these days are normal.
    It doesn’t matter when we miscarriage. It’s always a terrible experience. Give yourself time. And express your feelings. I wish you a lot of strength.

  • It’s not silly at all to feel sad when it was an early miscarriage and totally natural to have the mixed feelings you describe. Nobody can tell you how you should feel; these are your feelings and they’re ok. Be sweet to yourself and take the time to come to term with this !

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