98 Answers

“Dear Moms I am writing this because I am sure that there’s other moms out there who are currently going through the same as me. My daughter is 13 years old, in year 8 and shamefully I have to say that I simply cannot trust her due to past issues. She is a lovely child and I have brought her up trying everything in my power to teach her how to be responsible and making the right choices. Since she started high school this year everything just went from good to worse. She takes things that doesn’t belong to her and without asking. Time and again I catch her going onto inappropriate websites, creating Facebook accounts without permission. Getting a boyfriend after we discussed that her education is more important and things like that can wait until later in life. Small things that add up. When her dad and I talk to her and trying to explain to her the seriousness of what she is doing is going to get her in trouble one day and sooner than she thinks. Practically begging her to always do the right thing and thinking twice before she does something. It always ends up in her crying her little eyes out and promising that she’ll change. Things go good for a week or so until I find out that she’s again up to no good. We never shout at her and try to give our kids everything we only dreamed of BUT they have to proof to us that they deserve it. When she misbehaves or does something that gets her into trouble the consequence is always taking away something that she likes very much like her phone for example. I myself wasn’t close to how she is. I can honestly say that I have never been drunk in my life and never even set a foot in a night club or bar. I just had no interest in anything like that. Our situation has got to a stage where I have no trust at all. And this feeling make me fearful of what she’ll do next. I don’t want to feel this way. I love my daughter dearly and with all my heart but I am tired of trying when she just carries on the way she does. I lay in bed every-night fearful of whats going to happen next, worrying if she will make the right choices tomorrow. I worry so much about her that I really have trouble getting a good night’s rest. Is there any mom out there going through the same and do you have any advice as I really don’t know what to do anymore.” Do you have any tips for dealing with a troublesome teenage daughter?

Posted by anon, 26/04/13

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  • Seek family counciling perhaps? Sometimes a strangers view helps.

  • I went through a rebellious stage but I was much older than your daughter is. One day she’ll look back and realise everything she’s put you through, probably when she has kids of her own. Maybe take a step back and let her make her own mistakes. Good luck.

  • I hope things are going good

  • send her to someone to talk too! I was the same that that age but if she is going to rebel she will find a way to do it

  • I am dreading when my daughter turns that age! Sounds like u r doing all the right things!

  • Gee your daughter sounds just like my 8 year old who has ADHD, one of the symptoms of ADHD is no impulse control i think you should have her assessed by a doctor for ADHD

  • It is a difficult phase in her life Hope things go well

  • its a testing age isn’t it? hope its going well for you

  • I hope things have improved for you.

  • it is a difficult age.

  • I agree with what others have said, find an interest that will occupy most of her time and give her an outlet and you might be able to shift the focus from inappropriate behaviour to acceptable ones

  • my little sister just went through this stage of being a rebellious teenager and what kids are like these days its hard to get one to behave when everyone else isn’t although with my sister she plays a sports now that uses 90% of her spare time and she has had a major attitude change mabie find something good she enjoys and gives her a chance to excert negative behaviour

  • I think one of the worst things you can do is give her more rules. She sounds like shes going through her rebellious phase a little, give her some space to make her own mistakes and she’ll stop making them perhaps!

  • Unfortunately I think this is just a part of being 13. I don’t have any advice other than to keep the lines of communication open. I was awful at that age then suddenly snapped out of it and felt pretty guilty for what I put my parents through.

  • Teenages push boundaries, she is 13 and her peers are doing the same as what she is. If you continue to say no to everything she is just going to keep rebelling against your rules. Try writing up a behaviour contract with her. That may help. Reward her when she does follow your rules otherwise she isn’t going to see the point in why she needs to follow your rules when other parents are more lenient with their kids

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