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9 Answers

I’ve been with my husband for 3 years. We’re a blended family, both having children from previous relationships but none together.

I’ve felt my in-laws (mainly MIL & SIL) have never much fancied me. Most recently my SIL, her husband & child (they live out of town). SIL came with gifts for my husband’s child but none for my kids. I didn’t mind much, however, I figured since she’s staying in our home a nice gesture would have been nice.

We went out and she tagged everyone but me on several social media posts; left me out of all pics and videos; only thanked my husband for his hospitality. Most I can roll my eyes and ignore. Me and my husband left for work and left them in my home until they left for the airport. When I got home my bedroom had clearly been entered and my bed was moved.

For me that was an ultimately disrespectful thing to do and I want to speak to my husband about it but he defends his family all the time. Now his family is talking about all flying out for New Year’s and the thought makes me cringe!


Posted by ItsMeMommyof3, 24th August 2018


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  • You’re too nice I would ask her( SIL)directly in front of all what’s your problem?anything wrong?


  • Sounds like a good sit down and a chat is required. Lay down some ground rules for everyone


  • I would be super quickly making plans with friends so you are too busy for them to come.


  • I would backtrack and find out why thee is disrespect and ill manners involved, I am not too keen on one of my SIL and its good that I don’t see her often . Many things, it maybe some resentment/jealousy involved, personality clashes, unresolved issues, etc. In my opinion , these are childish behaviours and it is not your hubs fault as everyone has to take responsibility for themselves. I would talk to him and ask him is there any unresolved issues from the past or present . Its best to clear the air properly so we know how we stand and not have passive behaviour that is quite rude.


  • You need to be open and honest with your Husband. If he keeps defending them even though it clearly upsets you, you stay strong and focus on you and your kids and what’s right for you all.


  • You MUST talk with your husband. Things usually get worse the longer things go unsaid or unsettled. You and your husbands and the children are now a family. Rules apply in all households/family’s. Extended family members do have a right to access the children, but rules apply. Stipulate the rules, be up-front with everyone and ensure you stick to your decisions. You stated, they do not much fancy you now, so upsetting them is not really going to make things a whole lot worse. Your husband obviously loves you or he would not be your husband, so talk to him. Don’t attack him (it is not his fault that SIL is ill-bred), don’t have everything as a negative, request his input on how to remedy the issues and create some rules to impose. A little adage I have lived by ‘Never Go To Bed With Things Left Unsaid’.


  • This kind of behaviour is just not acceptable! They either treat everyone the same or not at all. It’s just petty to do social media posts, photos etc deliberately leaving you out. Definitely talk to hubby about it as I can see you being treated much worse when the whole family rock up. Not on at all!


  • I agree with the comment posted before me. It’s not acceptable that your SIL entered in your bedroom. You have kindly offered them a place to stay and they do that? It would be fantastic indeed if your husband realized by himself that the way they treat you and your biological kids is not right. Just because it’s your husband’s family, you don’t need to accept it. You want people around you that make your life beautiful. Not people that make you feel miserable.


  • You have every right to feel as you do. It’s beyond disrespectful and rude to enter someone’s bedroom without their permission, even more so when they’re not even at home. It’s also really petty to buy for one child but not the others present and sets a bad precedent for becoming family. In all honesty I’d be pointing out these things but not wording it as an attack. Something along the lines of “the bed has been moved but neither of us were home, it’s not okay for our privacy to be invaded like this” or “that gift for xx child was so thoughtful, I wish I’d known she was bringing them a present so I could have bought xx kids a little something so they don’t feel left out”. Hopefully he starts noticing these things for himself once you start the ball rolling and does something about it. However, if he doesn’t it may be time to rethink your relationship, it’s not okay for him to want you in his life but expect you to put up with that kind of treatment from anyone let alone his own flesh and blood.


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