13 Answers

We have the situation where our local mothers group seems to have just ended. Half have moved away and the other half seem to have made their own exclusive group excluding others and myself from it. How do you pull the plug on the group when people seem to be pretending that they want to be friends. The ones who are still in the same area all live in a 5km radius to each other so it’s inevitable that we will run into each other at some stage and maybe even some of the kids will go to school together. I feel like I’m back in high school and would love to know what I’ve done to be one of those ousted from the exclusive group – but on the other hand am trying to move on and make new friends.

Any advice?

Posted by sasichick, 21st October 2015

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  • Keep hanging out with all the ones who seem to have been ousted. You don’t need the others, you can’t force friendships, so let it go

  • Well, you could try gate crashing one of their ‘exclusive’ gatherings, confront them to find out why. Or go on your own way and stop,worrying about it. Could you try set up your own with your own real friends?

  • Ask your maternal health nurse for a list of the local playgroups :-)

  • local libraries have great activities, toy libraries at community centres, and keep an eye on the local paper.

  • Ouch – it always hurts to be on the outer. My mothers group separated based on interest and personality type. Some started a book club, I’m not an avid reader so didn’t join but meet up with people I get along with – I got their contact details and have them on Facebook. Likewise some people moved away and some people I didn’t gel with. Perhaps google or Facebook search playgroups in your area.

  • I agree with the others mums, Try and find another group one that you are happy with. I had issues with my mothers group at one stage i was the first to have a second child and they all forgot what it was like with a young bubs. That was till they soon started to have their second and they quickly understood why i got a little miffed with them. There are music groups, story time at the local libary, Dance classes for mum and bubs. Council run play groups, church run play groups, if you have choosen your childs future school run play groups.
    We also found that with our group we all needed time away from the kids and to go out for dinner just us mums, It has helped us connect on a friendship level without the kids around so its not only about the kids its also about us as a person not just as someones mum.

  • Sorry to hear your mothers group did this but I agree as a few others suggest are you able to find another playgroup, your local church might have one or even join a baby music class.

  • Depending on where you live, your local council may be able to advise you of services available or where you can get the details that may help you. Does the school your children are going to attend know of any others?

  • I agree with looking for a new group via social media. There will be like minded people and groups.

  • I would also move on from this group. Cliquey people are inevitably false and maybe don’t have sincere motives about being in the group to start with. You can find people who are genuine outside of the group I would say

  • yes first for what ever reason not true friends, can you think of anything that may have offended them?, or is there one you can ask why as you feel hurt at not being included. If this fails start mums group yourself! put notice up and ask if anyone interested to contact you, mobile no best it is true. Then meet and discuss see if you all get on too. All the best as nice to share with others too

  • try a local facebook group, playgroup, buggybuddies website?

  • I would move on from this group and make new friends that you enjoy being with and make you feel good about yourself. A group should be fun for you and bub and it should not be exclusive. There will be lots of other mums out there that will feel the same way you do.

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