8 Answers

I need some advice on what to say to a friend (not best friend but know with in a group) what to say to her as she is struggling with coming to terms with only a few months of life left.

Posted anonymously, 8th January 2017

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  • I see this is an old question. Did your friend pass away ? How did you cope and could you be of any support to her ?

  • it is terribly hard and such a horrid thing to have to be in this situation. i think peoples suggestions of just being there is good.

  • I have just recently had a friend pass after only 4 months from diagnosis. I went to see her two weeks before and even though both of us knew we were saying our goodbyes the actual words were never uttered. But we knew. W chatted about old times family friends and life in genera. I left her with a tight cuddle but both our eyes could tell it was our final goodbye. I don’t know that there are words I think just being there is enough.

  • Maybe just treat her as usual and be there for her. Getting too heavy unless she wants to might make her feel sad.

  • Follow her leads. If she wants to talk, lend an ear, sometimes listening is a goid thing. Just being there is good too

  • Just sit with her – talk if she wants, if not quiet company may help.

  • When I wouldn’t know what to say I would sit with her, be quiet and real.

  • First of all, avoid all platitudes such as “I know how you feel”, etc. I would give your friend a hug, and tell her anytime she wishes to talk, about anything, that you will be there to listen, no matter what she wants to talk about. So many friends at this time aren’t willing to listen to the person who is facing death fears of what is about to happen, instead they think they are helping by shutting down any such talk. Your friend isn’t defeated just because she wants to talk about it, so let her, without your interjections or changing the subject. Allow her to feel safe to cry, to get angry, anything, but love her enough to allow her to do or say anything at this time.
    I am praying for you and for your friend during this time of grieving, which is what you’re both doing whether you wish to acknowledge it or not.

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