Hello!

22 Answers

My friend has breast cancer and it spread to her brain. She has a husband and three kids. I don’t know what to say to her.


Posted by mom162079, 21st January 2016


Want more real mum questions sent to you?


You'll need to check this email to complete your signup.

Topics

Ask your question
  • And I think you can just tell her that you don’t know what to say !


  • My friend had breast cancer spread through her liver and died within a year after being diagnosed.
    I would just catch up for a coffee/tea what we used to do and express my sadness about her disease, listened and we cried together. I felt she was regularly of more support to me then I for her. Give as much as practical support as you can and be yourself !


  • I always love my mother’s suggestion for one of the best questions you can ask in any situation whether it be posed to a friend, a spouse, a child, a coworker. When someone comes to you with a complaint, a problem, or a rant asking the simple question, “Do you just want me to listen or do you want my advice?” is a wonderful way to be supportive. Sometimes a friend just needs to cry and vent, no advice wanted. By asking you will show sensitivity to the distinction. This is what I mean by not needing to have had the same experience to be a good friend. Listening matters. It’s free, and all you have to do is offer (and follow through).


  • Nothing you say will be the “right” thing, follow your heart. Be there for her, listen to her or her actions. Help out as much as you can to lighten the load – whether it be babysitting, cooking, cleaning etc.


  • There is nothing you can say to fix it. Just tell her you love her and do what ever you can for her. Be a friend. That’s about all you can do. Just don’t abandon her because you don’t know what to say, she probably doesn’t either. Be honest and say you don’t know what to say, and just listen.


  • There is no right words to use for a friend going through that, all i can suggest is that you will always be there for her and her family no matter what.. Also be there to let her vent her frustration and anger while she is travelling that hard journey. Even if its only to pick her up and treat her to some time out for herself.. or even to take the kids off her hands for a few hours and do fun things.. So she can rest knowning her kids are having some fun.. Also if she is able to help her make some quailty memories with little excurisons out with the family and take lots of photos for memory keep sakes for the kids..


  • moms have given wonderful suggestions again.
    May I also suggest though: sometimes she may like some peace and quite even when you are with her..maybe you could suggest a little nap or quite read while you iron, do some errands or a grocery shop for her.
    My prayers are with her.


  • The important thing is not what you say but that you let her know that you are there for her and her family. Be there for her when she needs to talk to someone, be there for her when she needs help with anything. Just be there….no words needed.


  • Be there for her & let her know that she can ask anything of you no matter what. Ask her what she wants to talk about or do & support all her choices


  • All you can do is let her know you are there for her and her family. Offer to take the kids for her to have a rest or bring over a meal. Little things help without saying anything.


  • TREAT HER AS NORMAL AND GIVE LOTS OF LOVE AND HELP TOO,SHE WILL TEL YOU HER STORY, CARING AND LISTENING YOU CAN DO. a TRAGEDY AND IT IS HARD TO SAY, BUT FEELING SORY IS NOT SUPPORT WHICH SHE NEED SO NATURAL CONVERSATIONS BRING EASE TO WHAT SHE WANTS TO SAY. nEVER ASSUME LEARNED THAT THE HARD WAY! lEARN AS MUCH AS YOU CAN ABOUT HER CONDITION TOO, HELPD WITH YOUR ANSWERS IF NEED BE IT IS TRUE. sO SAD i KNOW AND IT IS HARD ONE TO BE A FRIEND IN NEED BUT THAT IS WHAT YO CAN BE


  • I start by being frank and saying “that is so awful”. Sometimes people want the freedom to discuss how much it sucks rather than have to put up a brave front.


  • I had a friend and the important thing is to point out all the incredible break throughs


  • ask if she would like to talk to you about her health, let her talk, then when she may be finished talking ask how she feels about this or that (something she mentioned)
    Even just mention or ask how did she first know that she had breast cancer, does it run in the family, how often she had a mammogram and when is her next appointment to see her specialist, would she like you to go with her


  • Turn up with some meals for her freezer, so the shitty chemo days, meals for her family are covered, and say… I love you, what do you need me to do, to help you win this battle?


Post you answer
Like Facebook page

LIKE MoM on Facebook

What is your answer to that question?
Would you like to include a photo?
No picture uploaded yet.
Please wait to see your image preview here before hitting the submit button.
Your MoM account


Lost your password?

Enter your email and a password below to post your answer and join MoM:

↥ Back to top

Thanks For Your Star Rating!

Would you like to add a written rating or just a star rating?

Write A Rating Just A Star Rating
Join