Hello!

12 Answers

so, for Xmas, iv told my daughter who is horse mad, that im buying 3 tickets for a trail ride. One for me, her and a friend of her choice. Shes picked her cousin who is her favourite person . I told my Brother in law last night that I dont want th other kids thinking they are being left out, that my neice coming is a part of my daughter gift and not a gift for her. None of our other kids are going. My sister inlaw is not really ok with this, as her youngest well be jealous. This isnt a gift for my neice but my daughtera who has had a very ruff 12 months. My kids know this is a gift and understand why they are not going. Im going to be really frustrated if she isn’t allowed to come because an 9yo will be jealous. Im a firm believer that kids need to learn early on that we dont all get invited.


Posted anonymously, 23rd September 2020


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  • I’m with you on this one – id be very comfortable for my kids to do things on their own.. in fact, since thy were tiny they would have sleepovers on their own at their grandparents. The other knows that although it isn’t their turn this time, they’ll get one soon.


  • If your sister-in-law doesn’t agree with this and feels as though her other children are being left out, then maybe suggest that she can take her other children horse riding at another time – if they want to!


  • I sincerely hope your sister in law doesn’t punish two children (your daughter and hers) for the sake of one child missing out. Your sister in law can take her daughter any time she likes. I probably wouldn’t have mentioned it in advance and just said we have tickets for a trail ride and (your daughter) would like to invite (her daughter) along. My suggestion is to just discuss it with your brother and hope he can help his wife see reason. All the best


  • They’ll get over it


  • I agree that kids need to learn to be gracious at times and not always get what they want


  • I agree that kids need to learn that not everyone gets invited all the time. But this is a bit tricky because it’s a present (not a party). I think, though, that you should be okay if you explain it to ALL the kids very clearly.


  • As you say, it is a gift to your daughter and, part of the gift, is for her to choose who goes along with her …. surely your SIL can understand that …. not all kids get invited to parties etc, it is up to the child to include who they want ….


  • You’re right, it is part of life. Siblings will have to get used to the fact they won’t be invited to the same party and sometimes one sibling gets invited to more parties then the other. Parents have the responsibility to help their kids with this and can do something nice with those not invited.


  • I agree with you on this one. This is a gift for your child and she can invite whoever she wants and the others miss out. That’s life!


  • Can’t be helped! Just explain the situation perhaps


  • You can really control that situation unfortunately, your brother and his wife need to sort that out. Kids miss out on things, that the reality. What happens when one child has a party to go to and the siblings aren’t invited? This is the same thing. The parents need to manage this better.


  • This sounds complicated now that the sister in law is not happy but her kids need to know it is your daughters present that she has one ticket to choose who she wants to go with her. They need to learn they can’t go with their sister their parents can to something with them but not what your daughter is doing as that will spoil her day. I hope it turns out the way you want.


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