15 Answers

I don’t know if this is going to sound silly but my little boy is 8 months old tomorrow and I still have serious issues leaving him. I have gone back to work part time, 2 half days, and I still really don’t feel comfortable with someone else looking after my baby. We aren’t desperate for the cash but it is nice having some extra money in the bank.┬áHis dad looks after him one day and then a friend looks after him the other day but I am not 100% sure I trust her or feel comfortable with her looking after him. Am I being too over protective?

Posted anonymously, 17th February 2015

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  • Not overprotective at all. I ddn’t leave my babies with anyone since we didn’t have a great social / family network at that stage. I didn’t go to work either

  • It could be your mum instincts kicking in. Any chance you could find another friend who you trust more to babysit?

  • Relax it’s actually good for you to go to work. It’s an outlet. I could only have 6mths off with my second and went back to work 3 days. His aunt did family daycare so both kids went there. I’m sure both of the people looking after bub are trustworthy so there’s no need to feel guilty. You need to be your own person too.

  • I didn’t leave mine till after they weaned, which was around 8-9 months of age. Even then it was only if I had to and was with my sister or mother in law. I was lucky to be in this situation

  • Nope, not over protective, just a normal mum. I didn’t leave my babies until they were off the breast, and then it was only for an hour or 2 with my mother in law or sister. They’re the only 2 I trusted to have my babies overnight too. It gets easier as they get older

  • The only people I really feel comfortable with are my family.

  • I think that’s understandable. I probably have some kind of trust issues. My son is almost 3 and has been going to childcare since he was 8.5 months, but other than childcare and leaving him with my husband, I hardly ever leave him. I will never 100% trust my husband (for example I have to list down things to do or when to feed etc) and childcare (as in I might not 100% agree with how they do things) but I need a break so I just have to “close one eye” sometimes

  • Trust your instincts… Sometimes what they are telling you, is true!

  • i have separation anxiety as well! i knew that my kids was perfectly fine but i would feel so guilty about leaving them even for an hour. my hubby has tried to get us nights out or even cinema dates, but i just want my kids and can’t enjoy the time out until i know that i am going to see them. Lol i know it can be hard and i would love to say it gets better but all you can do is try to enjoy the moment (or in your case get through the day) and give them extra big hugs when you get back.

  • Is there any reason why you have your doubts about the lady who is kind enough to mind your baby? Or are you just feeling guilty? Does your friend have children of her own? Did she volunteer or did you ask her? Either way if you are going to take action you are in a very difficult position. It is going to be even worse if there is any connection with anybody at work or your husband’s and the lady who is minding your baby. Maybe if you find somebody that you are happier with, give the 2nd person a trial and the 1st lady a couple of weeks off before you make a decision you may regret.

  • It reads to me like you trust your DH and not your friend? If that’s the case follow you gut!

  • It’s a very personal thing but

  • My daughter started preschool when she was 3 years old. 3 hours a day, 3 days a week. It was the first time she wasn’t with me.

  • I went back to work (as a group exercise instructor so only an hour at a time) when my son was six weeks old. He was looked after by either his dad or parents, Although I often felt a little guilty I was always confident in the people looking after him. I think you have to be confident and comfortable in who you are leaving your little boy with.. if your not then I would go with your gut feelings. (not over protective just not sure)

  • Not at all! My kids were with me until they were 2.5 yrs old and only then did they go to day care just 1 day a week so I could have a study day or do groceries…have some ‘me’ time. Even then looking for a day care was hard. I looked at about a dozen centres to see which one I felt comfortable with…I didn’t have any friends or family around to help, so a day care was my only option at the time. My daughter is in grade 2 now and my son attends Kindy…I still miss them both so much when they are at school!

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