Hello!

“My eldest son is 17 and asking can his girlfriend who is also 17 stay over, he said it is Ok with her parents ? Do i say yes or no ? Will they go elsewhere ?” When can boyfriends and girlfriends have sleepovers?

Posted by anon, 23/04/13

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  • Look, I’d probably try to fend it off until they were 18. But they are legal now, so it really comes down to how mature you think they are. And talk about contraception either way.


  • Supply condoms. Least u know they r in a safe place. Point is they will do it somewhere so might as well b in a safe place! Hard for u though


  • Times have changes so much but it is better under your roof than elsewhere


  • I’d allow it. I had sleepovers with my boyfriend when I was 16. Better they’re under your roof than off somewhere else, because at that age if they want to be together they’ll probably rebel against anyone who tries to keep them apart. Just set rules and make sure they’re respectful to the rest of the household.


  • That’s a hard one, just make sure they know about safe sex and put a packet of condoms in the room….lol.


  • I think it’s just a sign of the times. I wanted that, so how am I going to stop my kids. By being a hypocrite, do as I say not as I do??


  • You could have his girlfriend sleep over could you let them sleep in the lounge room. They might be to scared to do anything.


  • Really a no win situation isnt it. You let them stay together you may be worried what they might do but then you dont allow and they might just do things elsewhere. Good luck


  • I think it really depends on the kids themselves, their maturity level etc, the length of the relationship etc…just remember (sorry to be so blunt) if theyre going to have sex, theyre going to have sex. They’ll find a way! Make sure they know about safe sex etc. so if they do the deed, there wont be any nasty surprises


  • Depends on how long they have been together really. If it is a longer term thing then perhaps allow her to stay over after taking to her parents first to ensure that they are really o.k with it. But if it is only a fairly new relationship I would consider saying no and asking him to give it a while – Reason being you wouldn’t want him thinking it is o.k to bring different girls over all of the time…


  • If the other mum is definitely okay with it, I’d allow it at 17.


  • Id check personally with her parents first. If they are ok and the kids are aware of safe sex etc than Id be ok with it.


  • If they want to have sex they will. Better it be in the safety of home than at a party or the back of a car


  • My mum let me have sleep overs from the time i turned 16 (one was a relationship the other a completely platonic relationship). With the actual relationship we had to sleep in separate rooms until I turned 18. Mum and dad were able to check this throughout the night (and I was too scared to go against them). Knowing that sexual activity cannot always be restrained I was also given condoms and put on the pill (and my boyfriend at the time was also given condoms by his parents so that IF there was sexual activity it was as safe as they could make it)…..the platonic relationship was able to stay in my room on the floor because there was no way anything was going to happen there!


  • I know I set ground rules that I felt comfortable with when my eldest son asked and it was separate rooms,


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