16 Answers

My mum wants to be in the delivery room, but I know my husband isn’t overly keen on the idea. Who did other mums have in the room with them and did they find it was positive or not?

Posted anonymously, 9th November 2016

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  • I had no-one but my husband, a midwife, the obstetrician, and a bunch of medical students. I could have done without the medical students, but I wasn’t asked. I don’t think I would have felt comfortable with anyone else.

  • I had only my husband there and didn’t desire differently.

  • My husband was very helpful. I was able to clutch his arm (and nearly break it off according to him) and with my 2nd child he noticed that the nurse didn’t switch the gas on like she was supposed to do and told her to turn it on in no uncertain terms.

  • With all 3 of our babies births, I have only had my husband there.
    I would not have allowed anyone else persuade me into allowing them to be there.
    With our first my husband worked fly in fly out, and we had discussed and agreed with my mum that she would be there if i went into labour early while he was away, but that was the only circumstance that I wanted someone else to be there.

    My mum and dad and parents in law were told baby had arrived quite soon after she was born and they were all there fairly quickly too.

    If it’s going to be an issue, could it be an option to simply not tell anyone you have gone into labour? Just tell them once your baby has arrived? If it means that you will not have someone trying to get into the labour room that you don’t want there, it may be worth considering.

  • Who ever makes you feel most comfortable with. My partner just missed out on my son being born as I had sent him home to have a rest & he arrived back at the hospital just after bubs was born. However I ended up having my sister in the room & found it very comforting being my first pregnancy & having no idea what I was on for. With my second child my partner was in the room. It made him appreciate the whole experience so much more. Hopefully he will be in the room again for my third child ????

  • My mum was! she knows me the best

  • I had my husband but you should have whoever is right for you.

  • I just had my partner with me for the birth and my mum and older son were waiting outside and came in straight afterwards. I feel as though the birth is something that should be shared between the parents, immediate family can wait a few minutes to meet bub.

  • The best person or people to have in the delivery room with you is people you feel comfortable with. You need a support circle & if that includes your mum, so be it. I had my nan & hubby had his mum. I felt it was only fair that we each had a support person as I was useless as a support.

  • The choice is … what do you want?? What would make you most comfortable and calm?

    Personally i liked minimal fuss and preferred just bub’s dad and OB.

  • With our first child, I had my best friend, she had been at multiple births and she was there as support for my husband, the mum\’s have a whole hospital of doctors & nursing staff, but dads are on their own, (lucky she was there, when some things went wrong, she was able to keep him calm) with our second I had a midwifery student, she was a registered nurse who was doing her additional midwifery training, so she was great at home, as she was able to monitor and time everything and say definitely when it was time to go to hospital (I find the staff on the phone unhelpful with the when do I come in question)

  • My mum begged me to have her in the room. I was planning a water birth drug free in a birthing centre. My partner was dead against it and I wasn’t too keen either but she wouldn’t take no for an answer. I was even stupid enough to lie and say they wouldn’t let more than 1 in the room for water birth.. She rang the centre and they said I could have as many as I wanted.. Oops

    Eventually I went into labor and didn’t tell her until after he was born. She was devastated and cried on the phone. But she was first to the hospital to meet my son and immediately got over not being there.. I told her she could be there for the next, but I’ve since changed my mind and let her know. I had a complicated delivery, didn’t get my water birth and really struggled through labour. My partner was my rock, and it was such a special moment when our son was placed on me while my partner was sitting behind me holding me up slightly. I couldn’t imagine having anyone in the room. We needed that moment to ourselves, it was very special to us.

  • Honestly, it’s what how’ve really YOU feel comfortable having in the room. I had my mum and aunty in with my first, my mum, a close family friend, my fiancé and my best friend in with my second, the same people minus my best friend in with my 3rd and will be the same this time around with no.4. Don’t let anyone tell you who you should and shouldn’t have in the room.

  • I had only my Husband for both deliveries. I felt there was no need to have anyone else in the room as it is a special moment for those involved in creating the life. I struggle to understand why people would want their Mum/best friend/sister/brother etc but i guess it maybe because I don’t have a great relationship with anyone else.

  • my husband and he was amazing. I don’t think I could have dealt having my mum with me and if there was my husband and my mum in the room it would have gotten too much for me. If you do decide you want your mum with you I’d recommend giving them each a “task” to do so they don’t both try to do the same thing and end up stressing you out, and that by including your mum your husband doesn’t feel sidelined.

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