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18 Answers

Our beautiful Labrador is currently undergoing treatment for cancer. I don’t even know at this stage if she is going to make it home alive and I am terrified to say the least.

My in-laws found out and rather than providing emotional support at this time, IMMEDIATELY asked for close to TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS claiming that my father-in-law is having surgery in a week (non life saving).

My husband sees his parents after work practically every single day. They call him all the time. How could they only remember to ask for financial help or mentioning the surgery after being told about our pup?

I respect the fact that to some people, veterinary expenses are a waste of money. But this is what we signed up to the day we decided to own a pet! What exactly would they like me to do- abandon our gorgeous pup and ghost the vet?

My heart is breaking and I honestly cannot believe that I am being put in this financial predicament. It makes me feel sick.

I am genuinely curious what the wonderful Mouths of Mums community would choose- who’s life would you spend the money on?

My in-laws live the most luxurious lifestyle. They’ve got an excellent income. But at the end of the day what matters most to them is what choice I make at times like these.

The pressure is intense. But I know in my soul what I’m decided on and you might even be able to find my choice in an article on the MoM website one day. I am just very curious how other people would balance this situation, and also if you have ever faced anything similar?

Thank you for your answers in advance, I am truly grateful for your time xx


Posted by someonesmother, 4th February 2021


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  • Do what you think is right for you and your family – sorry that your husband isn’t supporting you in your decisions, but it’s time he decided where his true love lies. His parents are ex and his new family should be where he wants to align.


  • Your inlaw op is non urgent. I dont even know why they’re asking for financial assistance for it. Your dog is possibly dying. It’s a no brainer, save your dog ❤


  • If they are that well-off why can’t they cover the cost themselves? Also, if the surgery is not urgent I would not be giving them any money


  • In laws as my MIL is awesome we lost her husband 2 years ago.


  • Sounds like your husband hasn’t taken marriage first and that means you him and children and your pets. I don’t know why they have to ask for money which I personally think is a cheek. His been put in a hard position by them but I would remind him you and the dog are first then they look after their own and how would they react if you asked for money for the dog?


  • I’m with you and I know my late husband would have felt the same way. I’m sorry that you are being pressured like this but for me, my pet comes first. They have the money and the lifestyle so maybe they should sell something (god forbid) to get the money that way. Hopefully your husband will be on your side. Sending hugs and prayers for your beautiful dog.


  • Personally I don’t even have anywhere near that amount of money to lend anyone!
    If I did though, if the in-laws surgery was the following week, they should have worked out how they were paying for it a LONG time ago! I would be choosing my pet over their non-life threatening surgery, that in all honesty if they have a comfortable life they should be paying for and affording themselves.
    Currently in my own life my husband is running his mum around for appointments that she supposedly cannot drive afterwards. She’s having cortisone injections. I had these myself 5 years ago and not only drove myself to and from the appointment, but then was expected to go to work at my in-laws cafe immediately after one of them! (Also my sister and brother in law LIVE with my mother in law and neither of them are apparently able to drive her themselves.)
    Choose your fur baby over the in laws!


  • Gosh I am so sorry. This sounds like a nasty test :(
    I would definitely do what you can for your furbaby first, if there’s still a chance!
    If they are well off, and have access to alternative care then that’s what they should be doing.
    You are the only advocate for your dog <3


  • What a terrible position to be put in. Dont know how they can ask for nearly 10,000 and expect you to have it. Its not a position any family member should be put in especially when its non life threatning. Cant they go into a public hospital and have it done


  • Obviously, every family situation is different. We’re estranged from our in-laws, so there’s no way I’d consider giving them anything (very long story!). So personally, I would choose the dog. Your in-laws should have money aside or options for their healthcare. It’s not your responsibility.


  • I don’t understand why your in-laws are asking for money if they are well off. Let alone ask for money for an operation that is not even necessary. I would have a talk to my husband and tell him you are not comfortable lending money and get him to tell them that lending money causes problems within family and you’d rather stay on good terms with them. If they have lent you money in the past, it’s a totally different ball game of course. What you do with your money is totally up to you and your husband. Hope all goes well with family and your dog. Good luck!


  • In all honesty I would tell them I don’t have the money. They can get a loan or get super potentially if they need to. They shouldn’t be making this your responsibility. It’s a lot of money!


  • I would choose the dog, humans can go through public health, animals can’t! And treatment has already bagan, you can’t stop now


  • For me it would be the saving of the pet against helping the in laws. It was not the time to bring up about the father in law. Do not know about you but $10 000 is a big ask. Sort of facing the same thing here, not helping the in laws as they are beyond saving (last one died 2005). Our cat needs surgery, we choose to let him live his life out as he is 18 yrs 7 months old. Losing him to surgery is not something we want to do and then restricting his diet after the surgery if he survives. I hope that your dog recovers or if needed has a peaceful death. Our pets are our responsibility and we should do what we think is the right thing.


  • Im sorry that your furbaby is sick – but no question they are a part of your immediate family and they come first. If your inlaws are living a comfortable life and the surgery is not life threatening, then they can find the money themselves. Your furbaby is having life threatening issues. Sounds to me like they dont want to use their funds to get this surgery and see you and your husband as a bank to use and I would bet they wont want to repay the money if you gave it to them, they would assume it was a gift!
    Tell them sorry but our immediate family -furbaby- is in desperate need and they should sell something or get a loan to finance their surgery. Hoping your furbaby comes through okay. ♥


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