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19 Answers

My daughter is about to turn 5 and my sweet, loving, thoughtful, appreciative little girl has turned into a monster!! She has the biggest attitude, she loves whinging, whining, chucking wobblies, and getting dressed has become the biggest chore and she’s an ungrateful little poop, I’ve tried reasoning/talking with her, walking away, ignoring her and shutting myself in the dunny lol, please tell me this is only a phase?? My sweet little darling is still in there and she pops up her head every now and then, but im exhausted! What else can i try???


Posted anonymously, 7th May 2015


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  • I think all you can do is persist.


  • Interested to see what others write here. I’ve got a 4 year old and see elements of this in her. Very frustrating!


  • She is realising that she is an independent person with her own thoughts and feelings, separate from yours. She is seeing how far the boundaries go, so decide now what your boundaries of acceptable behaviour are and enforce them. My 6 year old has been going through the same thing.

    He knows the rules and we have made it clear that any breach of the rules has consequences. These are initally time outs. Repeated breaches get treats taken away (eg no DVDs at the weekend, no going out with his friends on his bike and final sanction would be taking away something he loves such as Cubs/Joeys or cancelling a swimming lesson). He did not believe us until we stopped him watching DVDs at the weekend as well as stopping him going out to play with his friends (last weekend). His behaviour this week has been immaculate as he now knows that if we threaten it, we mean it.


  • it seems like you have tried just about everything except taking a hardline stance. ! warning then scary voice then a smack and loss of privileges. make your stand, make it known it WILL NOT be tolerated. she is just pushing boundaries hopefully and if she has just started school that can also contribute.


  • My boys are 10 and 13 and they still do all those things every now and then. Our beautiful sweet children are still there they are just developing the other side and have to learn to balance out the good with the bad (or difficult)


  • Tell her you love her but stay strong with your decisions and rules. This is what she is testing. Once she realises that the rules stay she should be ok but it might be a tough ride for a while.


  • I’m going through this now with my 4 year old. The defiance and stubbornness blows my mind at times. I just stay firm and don’t waver and I’m hoping at some point it will stop. I’m not sure how much more of the whinging and whining I can take!


  • Its a sign she is ready to go to school! Mine did it too, my youngest I wanted to send to Boarding Preschool. Best advice is keep up the learning type activities. Pre-reading books, talk about simple arithmetic, letters and numbers. And get heaps of exercise, nothing like a tired body to tire the brain!


  • I noticed my daughter 4yrs started this behavior as soon as she started kinder. And to be frank. Im stuck. But your not alone.


  • Has she just started prep this year? If so then it may be simply realising what teachers do/don\\\’t let them get away with. Even if she\\\’s a little angel at school then maybe she\\\’s bottling all the negative energy up
    For you. Speak to the teacher and see how she\\\’s going. If she has friends etc


  • She is testing bounderies, stay string abd let her know it’s not acceptable behaviour and discipline her each time.


  • I hope you find find this to be a passing phase. I can imagine it would be very frustrating…and I definitely have my challenges with Miss 4!


  • Yep i know how you feel and i just explain why we don’t behave this way


  • Ep hope everything works out I think you need to find disapline that works for your family and you all stick to it


  • Kids will try to push boundaries and rules and want to do it all their own way. Go the distance and use a consistent approach with your daughter. You are mum and you are the boss! Once she knows you are firm but loving and will not accept her tantrums she will get tired of this behaviour. Kids do go through phases. It is normal for kids to go through phases. Look after your own health as well; being a parent is constant and is rewarding and challenging at times.


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