29 Answers

Call me fastidious, but I’m tired of my husband breaking the current lockdown rules in our area!

His parents can’t bear not seeing him for a day and so they keep getting him to visit them!

They’re not compromised by any means, they’re in excellent health but they can’t stand the thought of adhering to the law and not seeing him.

The thought of ‘dobbing’ them in, although also getting my husband a hefty fine, actually brings me joy!

We’re a family of ten who are doing the right thing. And it feels really bad that my in-laws would put us at risk like this especially when they’re still going out and about.

Would you dob your spouse in under these circumstances?

Posted by someonesmother, 22nd July 2021

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  • I would warn him. And tell him that you are going to dob him in if he doesn’t abide by the rules.

  • Yes or prewarn him and tell him if he doesn’t listen he can go and stay with them.

  • Personally I wouldn’t dob my own husband in but I’d definitely be trying to stop him from visiting them or I’d make him go stay with them if he wouldn’t

  • I’d certainly make sure this was stopped. It is putting everyone at risk. I’d try and talk first, to both parties. Explain the fine. Explain the risk to the whole community. If you’re not listened to then speak to a supportive person, perhaps a police / health worker, who can help you work out a way forward. I’d be very worried about long term ramifications with spouse and take care to make sure I was ‘safe’ from any repercussions there. Perhaps the police can ‘accidentally’ discover the misdemeanour and put an end to it without you being at risk of being accused as the informer. Perhaps they can advise further. It’s like calling child protection. Sometimes has to be done.

  • A difficult predicament indeed!! If you dob him in, you hurt yourself just as much as him and his parents but, he really needs to consider you and how you feel. I assume you’ve talked to him about it and it isn’t working, obviously. Either insist that he follows the law or tell him to move in with his parents until lockdown is over – that should shake him up and see where his loyalty lies …..

  • I would not – we can’t afford to pay fine…

  • Well. I’d say you have some marital issues to work out here. In general my response would be that I’d want to be very very sure someone was actually breaking rules before I dobbed them in (there are exemptions etc and often you don’t know the details of someone’s situation). In this situation I guess I’d think about the ramifications if it comes out that you’re the dobber.

  • You should definitely tell him how you feel.
    He needs to know that if you or any member of the family get sick it will be because of him being a carrier.
    If you guys are all abiding by the law to keep safe then why can’t he?!
    Also, if they’re so desperate to see him why can’t it be online, virtually – why does it have to be in person?
    It’s these people who don’t care that are spreading the disease and keeping us in lockdown!

  • I’ve been tempted – especially since my brother in law (with his kids) go and visit his parents once or twice a week. It’s not a drop and run, but they go inside and say hello.

  • If you are married to the person then I would think you should be comfortable enough to talk to him and his parents about the importance of following the current COVID restrictions. They are in place for a reason! If you are not the person dobbing him in, it will only be a matter of time before someone else does. Maybe instead of visiting them in person he could FaceTime or Skype perhaps.

  • I’d certainly have a talk to him about breaking the rules and pointing out that if he gets caught he’ll lose a lot of money. If he still does it then dob him in and if he gets fined point out to your in-laws that they should pay at least half of the fine since it was their fault he was out in the first place.

  • Sounds like more than a one-off incident, so a clear frank discussion with hubby and then if it continues, you have no choice but to dob – it is putting too many peoples’ health at risk. Unpopular but there you go, it’s not one rule for one and another for everyone else.

  • I would have a talk to him and let him know that he is putting the whole family at risk. I don’t know if I could dob in my spouse but I would have no qualms in dobbing in someone else if they weren’t following the rules.

  • Not sure I could dob my husband in, besides a hefty fine would sting me just as much because we don’t have separate bank accounts & we pool all our money. I would however tell him how I feel and ask him to stop. He is not only putting his parents at risk but everyone else around him. Unfortunately, as difficult as it is for so many, this virus is not going to stop if people can’t do the right thing & stay home. Our lockdown is ending at midnight tonight but I am already preparing for the next one because of all the people that went out in protest with no masks or consideration to social distancing :(

  • That must be so frustrating for you, and I’m sorry that your husband is making decisions that put your families health at risk when you are trying to protect them.
    I think a conversation with him about how serious this is to you, how much it impacts your trust in him and the fact that his decisions don’t just impact him is important. Discuss options he has to stay in contact with his family without breaking restrictions. And remind him of family’s who have had members die because they haven’t followed lockdown and ask if he wants to be responsible for that with his parents.

    If he still doesn’t compromise, think about any other solution you might be happy with. Could you put up with him moving in with his parents and not visiting your home while lockdown restrictions are in place? If so that might be a way to protect yourself and show him how serious this is.

    Otherwise, I would tell him that you are going to report him and his family before you actually do it. That gives him a chance to do the right thing knowing the consequences if he doesn’t. Then if he still goes to his parents and you report him it doesn’t seem underhanded.

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