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This mum says her mother-in-law believes she her six month old son is spoilt…..

A frustrated mum has taken to popular parenting forum Mumsnet to vent about her mother-in-law repeatedly saying she spoils her son. The mum says that she has been accused of giving her son too many privileges, with her mother-in-law suggesting that she is raising him in completely the wrong way…

Constant Comparisons

The new mum said that when her mother-in-law discovered she was enrolling her son in baby swimming classes and completing a baby massage course, the judgmental comments started. “Just venting really, but it’s so frustrating when my MIL constantly refers to my baby as spoilt,” she said. “She feels the need to compare to how she raised her own family, primarily that they didn’t have much because she couldn’t afford to give them more.” The mum said that the fact that her son is only six months old only makes the whole situation more ridiculous. “Having is not equal to being spoilt, it’s not like he’s remotely entitled… he’s a baby!” she wrote.

A Simple Misunderstanding?

Responses to the mum’s post were mixed, with some saying that the whole thing could be a simple misunderstanding. “My son gets called spoilt sometimes by nan and family,” wrote one mum. “I don’t really take offence to it, I take it as a compliment in a way because we do have lots to do and he is forever getting new little toys and bits.” Others were more understanding of the mum’s frustration, taking issue with the use of the word ‘spoilt’. “How annoying, you can’t possibly spoil a baby except with neglect,” one said. “Lots of people judge each others parenting , but most of us are polite enough to realise that we need to keep it to ourselves.”

The line between a child that is well cared for and a child that could be labelled ‘spoilt’ is often so fine that people resort to using the label even when it is uncalled for. We totally understand where this mum is coming from!

Has your child been labelled ‘spoilt’ by a relative or friend? Share your story in the comments.

  • This seems so common. I think our mothers and mothers in law want to share what they’ve done in raising their children partly to feel validated and partly to be helpful. I think it helps to acknowledge what they have to say but then politely choose not to follow their advice.

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  • Not to me, but I wouldn’t put it past some family members to say it

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  • My kids have been called spoiled by my mum. I think it’s a generational thing.

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  • A mother has the right to spoil their child and it’s no ones business. I don’t think the mum has been to her child.

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  • No as I don’t spoil my kids

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  • This is ridiculous – there is no such thing as spoiling your child!

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  • I can’t see anything this Mum is doing that is spoiling her child. Taking him to swimming classes is a great idea and I’m sure every Mum would do this if they could. As for baby massage classes, that is only going to help this Mum settle her child if he is restless. Maybe the MIL is a little jealous they she couldn’t do this when her children were in their infancy.

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  • I can see what she’s getting at but “spoilt” is the wrong word. “Privaleged” is probably a better choice. In other words you have a very lucky baby. I am a daughter-in-law myself and a mother-in-law so have been through it all. My advice is to just laugh it off and say “yes she is very lucky isn’t she” and try not to let it worry you too much.

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  • I wouldn’t call a child spoilt because a mother is spending time doing things for him/with him. I wish I had more time to spend with my kids and doing swimming lessons and learning baby massage are great bonding opportunities. I didn’t need to enroll in baby massage though, it was shown to me at a mother’s group that was free and run at a local child health clinic. The swimming lessons are a great way to build a kid’s confidence in the water. That being said I didn’t start mine until they were older and could actually learn to swim. But hey, if you have the time and money, why not?

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  • Yes. He’s an only child and was often called spoilt. I don’t care. He has been spoilt with our love and attention and has grown into the most incredible young man.

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  • mother in law can get lost, your child your decision

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  • Learning to swim is a must have – not a question of spoiling the child … in fairness though, different generations always tend to refer to ‘how it was in their day’ and a little tolerance should be shown to our elders but, in turn, they should refrain from commenting on how parents raise their own children ….

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  • Six months old! Spoilt! Really!

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  • I think 6 moths of age is a bit too young to be labelled spoilt. Most grandparents spoil children as do parents especially at that age. I don’t think its a big deal. I wouldn’t take offence at what she said just move on.

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  • I think what plays here as well is different generations different upbringing. It could just help you to bring things in a slightly different perspective and not get all upset about it.
    When I was a child me and my sisters did go to sports/gymnastics and music after school, but sure didn’t attend baby swimming or baby massage course. And when I would go a generation back my mum had non of those. It’s not always easy for the older generation to grow and develop with their time.

    Reply

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