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She asked if she was being unreasonable to be angry with her brother for not inviting her kids to his wedding…

A wedding can be one of the biggest expenses a couple will ever have so making sacrifices to cut costs is a difficult yet important way to reduce financial stress. Despite this, a mum has taken to Mumsnet to share her anger after her brother and his fiance decided to change their minds and not invite children to their wedding, preventing her kids from attending.

A Big Deal

The mum says that she was shocked when her brother told her about the change, especially as her children had been looking forward to the wedding. “My kids were told they were invited so were very excited (they are 10 and very sensible so would not be kicking off in the ceremony)” she wrote. “They have never been to a wedding before, there are not other kids in our family so this was a big deal to them.” The mum said that even though the couple had implemented a strict ‘no kids’ policy for both sides of the guest list to reduce numbers, she felt they should have made an exception for immediate family. “I know it’s their wedding, they can invite who they like, but I feel really sad that my kids will miss the wedding of the uncle they idolise.”

Worth Saying Something?

The mum asked the forum whether it was worth raising the issue with her brother or pretend it’s not a big deal, with many supporting her saying she is right to be upset. “Uninviting them is just shockingly rude. I don’t know anyone who has had a childfree wedding if they have close children in the family,” said one comment. “Talk to your brother, be understanding of his choice, but add that the kids were so excited and he needs to talk to them and have that conversation himself.”

We can totally understand where this mum is coming from – while it’s completely acceptable to have a child-free wedding, uninviting guests after the fact is guaranteed to cause hurt and disappointment. Make the decision before you send the invites or live with the consequences!

Did you choose to have a child-free wedding? Share your story in the comments.

  • Yes, but perhaps something changed in the bride and groom’s financial circumstances? We don’t know the peripherals.

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  • Maybe they should say just to the ceremony and then a child free reception

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  • I don’t understand why anyone would want children at their wedding. We had babies only at ours.

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  • If the kids were initially invites then they should keep them there. If it’s getting too expensive then maybe ask the parent to pay for the kids meal but don’t uninvite them completely

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  • If they already told the kids they could come, they shouldn’t go back on it. But otherwise its their wedding and she needs to suck it up.

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  • It kind of depends who told them they were invited… Very different if it was the bride and groom, or mum just assuming.

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  • I feel sorry for the kids as they were led to believe they were going.. but it’s the bride and grooms decision in the end

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  • completely up to the bride and groom – it is there day after all.

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  • The children are the joy at Weddings but of course it is up to the bride and groom who they want to invite!

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  • I think that if the couple want a child free wedding then unfortunately it is up to them. Its their day, they are paying for it. I have been to plenty, and I will be going to another on saturday, and I totally understand

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  • I think it’s fair. It’s not just the sisters kids who gave them been invited, it’s ALL kids. A total kid ban. There would be something to complain about if other kids were invited and not these 2. Who wouldn’t enjoy a couple of kid free hours? Causing drama where I don’t think there’s is any

    Reply

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