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September 26, 2018

11 Comments

Mum of three Laura Mazza shares her battle to get support with a tongue tie diagnosis.

“Oh tongue ties are just a fad”

“That’s what was said to me after a visit to my fourth doctor, wondering why at even four months, breastfeeding made me curl my toes and grunt in pain. Why my baby would suffer from awful reflux , fuss at the breast and gulp at the bottle.

The doctor told me he would be happy to circumcise my baby, but not release his tongue tie. He didn’t see it as necessary. My baby’s tie was so thick and stringy you could play bass on it… but according to him, i was swept up in the fad. It took me five months before it was taken seriously and I saw a dentist. By then it was too late, my supply had dropped.

And I was blamed. I was guilted. And I was shattered. I was the bad mother who starved her child, when in actual fact I did everything I could.

Second child it happened again but I was ready. Third child? I saw it as soon as they held him up to me after I had given birth and didn’t bother with any advice, just went straight to a dentist.

However his tie hasn’t been an easy journey. I knew it had reattached when he started to get fussy again and gain weight slowly and my supply dropped. I’m working hard again to build it up. I’m using donor milk, I’m pumping, I’m taking milk increasing medication, I’m formula feeding. Im doing everything I can.

So many mothers have been let down by this. So. many. It’s only that it’s my third that I am ready for it… how many first time mums or mums that haven’t experienced it before have been let down by improper information?

Pain, low supply, and a screaming baby -guilted into formula feeding and feeling guilty for doing so. Don’t! You’ve been failed. You haven’t failed.

Feeding your baby to make them grow is an amazing journey in itself.

This is the tongue tie journey; pumping endlessly, formula, feeding by syringe, donor milk, lactation consultants, empty bottles and wincing in pain… all for the person you love. To feed them. To make them thrive when no one will listen to you.

Not bad for a fad, hey?

Thank you to the beautiful woman who have pumped to help Mr James, you are amazing.”

Mums have shared their own experiences on Laura’s post.

Marie wrote – “This happened to me with my first born. My health visitor was supposed to refer us for it to be cut by 6 weeks. By that point I was struggling to breastfeed him. Was in so much pain, he couldn’t latch for longer than a few minutes. I had already started expressing to ease the pain and help him not be so hungry. I randomly bumped into my health visitor at 10 week weigh in and she said “oh I forgot but I won’t do it now as you’re not exclusively breastfeeding” I was so upset and angry. He ended up on formula and I had to see my GP to get him referred. He had it cut at 15 weeks old! They said it was a muscular tongue tie so would’ve affected oral hygiene as he got older, not being able to move his tongue round his whole mouth. I felt guilty for so long for not continuing but I couldn’t do anymore than I did. You’re right that we didn’t fail, they failed us. ”

Kim wrote, “Happened to us with our last baby, very low weight gain, still hadn’t reached birth weight by 6weeks, I ended up exclusively pumping and topping up with formula as I tried to build my supply up, I knew something wasn’t right (I’d breastfeed my oldest 2) but we were told to “grin and bear it”. I made it 7 months before my supply started drying up, so ended up having to fully formula feed, I was very guttered but fed is best and I done all I could, I just wish I was helped more when I voiced my concerns.”

Angie shared, “Yes! I can totally relate to this. I finally had enough and camped out at the hospital where my pediatrician was, demanding to see him so he could fix the tongue tie. I waited for hours before he could see us. Horrible experience, and by that time I think it was too late – we still struggled with breastfeeding until my son self weaned at 9 months.”

Another said, “Same thing happened with my now almost 5 months old. We finally had it resolved privately at 4 months old after being told by many midwives and Drs that there was nothing wrong with her. She had a 90% tongue tie hence all her issues with feeding and being a small baby. Even now she’ll graze throughout the day so some days I feel like I’m feeding 247 which is fine but not how it should be had it have been picked up sooner. Well done to you. It’s so tough when you’re being told everything is fine but well done for persevering.”

This post originally appeared on Laura Mazza – Mum on the Run Facebook page.

Jordan Talley shared her heartbreaking experience after watching her baby girl fade away – ‘Her eyes were dull and sunken in, her skin was sagging’ – read her story here.

What is tongue-tie? via Breastfeeding assoc

Tongue-tie occurs when the thin membrane under the baby’s tongue (called the lingual frenulum) restricts the movement of the tongue. In some cases the tongue is not free or mobile enough for the baby to attach properly to the breast. Tongue-tie occurs in 4-11% of newborns and is more common in males.

Some babies with tongue-tie are able to attach to the breast and suck well. However, many have breastfeeding problems, such as nipple damage, poor milk transfer and low weight gains in the baby, and possibly blocked ducts or mastitis due to ineffective milk removal.

There are many signs that a baby is having problems with breastfeeding and they may be related to tongue-tie:

nipple pain and damage
the nipple looks flattened after breastfeeding
you can see a compression/stripe mark on the nipple at the end of a breastfeed
the baby fails to gain weight well
Diagnosis of tongue-tie

If you are concerned that your baby has a tongue-tie that is causing breastfeeding problems, you may wish to see a lactation consultant who can carry out a full assessment including assessing breastfeeding and checking your baby’s mouth. A lactation consultant can discuss the assessment findings with you and your options.

Has your child had a battle with tongue tie? Share your experience below.

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  • Some Doctors really shouldnt be in the job

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  • I always thought tongue ties were a legitimate medical situation. I’ve known of a few of them. One mum refused to get it treated for a long time but eventually realised it couldn’t be ignored and got it fixed

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  • How obnoxious and arrogant of the Doctor. I had a son with a tongue tie that was so simply fixed. The distress I initially suffered when unable to feed him, and having to go to the bottle… that was distressing and I then suffered PND. Doctors need to be more empathetic, listen to new mothers rather than write them off as worries, and do their job.

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  • Clearly it’s a medical condition so being called a fad is just ridiculous.

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  • Yep, I’ve been there! The “lactation consultant” at our rural hospital failed to pick it up. I was in so much pain, loosing sleep, and my poor son was losing weight. I diagnosed the problem, and fortunately another mother was able to give me the name of a doctor who dealt with tongue ties, and we were able to have it (and a lip tie) cut shortly after at 8 weeks of age. My case was also complicated by undiagnosed retained placenta, but once that resolved and with the help of a decent lactation consultant (also recommended by the other mother), I was able to breastfeed exclusively until beginning solids at 5.5 months, and continued until nearly 14 months. I am expecting my second son, and you bet I’ll be on the lookout for a tongue tie! With such poor care I can understand why some mothers give up, or pronounce “I couldn’t breastfeed!” If you are struggling get help and demand answers!

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  • My baby has what the paediatrician described as ‘a slight lip tie’ and I was told the exact same as above that tongue and lip ties are a fad and it will resolve itself once she starts eating solids. I had so much trouble feeding her for the first few months of her life. Literally felt like my nipples were being sliced off with a blunt razor blade every time I feed. It got to the point where I just couldn’t feed and had to express for about a week to give my nipples time to heal. She is 6 months old now and we can feed fine now without pain.

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  • My boys didn’t suffer from this so I have not experienced it but my heart goes out to anyone who has been put though that by doctors.

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  • It’s sad that this problem is so often under estimated by doctors, nurses and health visitors !!

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  • Ours had a minor one and i beard the pain at the start. Luckily it’s fine now

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  • My brother had a very slight tongue tie. The Dr. told Mum to hold him tightly. He pulled his tongue and it released the problem. Mum had a screaming baby but the method worked.

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  • Reading this article, makes me think my 2nd son may had been slightly tongue-tried. I had problems with his feeding at about six months I gave up as I was feeding him before seeing maternal nurse so it looked liked he had put on weight . He sucked a lot so I thought he was being feed, was always under weight. Cracked my nipples just after I had him. The nurses had to spoon feed him the milk I expressed, as he refused the bottle. Even at fifty one I was able to BF twins to they were about twelve months. His wife says he is tongue tried , I am not asking how she worked that out.

    Reply

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