Mum shares why she struggled to bond with her baby born at 23 weeks

Born just one week before the legal abortion limit of 24 weeks this tiny baby is believed to be one of Britain’s youngest ever premature children to survive.

Flynn Parry, now 15 months old, arrived 17 weeks early weighing just 1lb 1oz when his mother Hoda Ali was just 23 weeks pregnant, shares Daily Mail.

‘I didn’t connect to him for about 10 days after he arrived, though. He was just so, so small. I thought he looked like an alien or a baby bird.’

His mother Hoda, 36, recalled: ‘A doctor told me, “He’s a fighter – all premature babies are”. It was true. He fought every day.

‘Doctors said only one in six babies survived the night at his age,’ Hoda explained. ‘Even the one that lived only had a 50 per cent chance of surviving any further.’

Mum shares how she delivered her own premmie baby in the front seat of the car!

Defying all odds, Flynn not only lived, he flourished – becoming a lively toddler, who now runs rings around his doting parents and has not experienced any developmental delays.

‘It’s amazing to see him now,’ said his proud mother. ‘He’s come so, so far.’

Although Hoda found it hard to bond with Flynn at first, she gradually fell in love with him – especially when she was finally able to cuddle him at a week old.

Did you find it hard to bond with your new baby?

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12 Comments

- - BellaB said
  - 13 Nov 2017
    11:24 pm
It’s very understandable. I hope they share much love over the years.

- - LuckyMum said
  - 12 Nov 2017
    10:36 pm
I love a happy ending. I hope baby continues to thrive ❤️

- - rachel1970 said
  - 12 Nov 2017
    12:56 pm
It was hard for me to bond with my premmie twins as well, I cared for them but it took some time, I think more than anything, i was frightened I would hurt them because they were so small and fragile. I love them to bits now, they are 10yo

- - mom93821 said
  - 11 Nov 2017
    3:22 pm
Pleased to read that the little one is thriving and that they have all bonded. No issues here with bonding.
- mom93821 replied
  
  13 Nov 2017 , 6:02 am
  The midwives facilitated bonding which was great.
- - serotonin said
  - 11 Nov 2017
    7:33 am
I can only imagine how hard it is to have your child born early and not be able to hold them right away or for as long as you want because they need very special care. To not be prepared as see your baby differently to what you imagined (underdeveloped) would be difficult. I think she was lucky to bond after 10 days, some take a lot longer if ever which is sad though no one’s fault, unfair really.

- - Ellen said
  - 11 Nov 2017
    7:27 am
My eldest was prem as well and also only after 1 week I was able to hold her for a short moment. I remember it was hard but I was there every day, sometimes with my hand in the incubator, giving her the tiniest strokes and singing over her. I did feel a direct bond, I felt so overjoyed and rich I had a daughter and that she was already there well before her due date, full of trust that everything would be alright. Somehow knowing that God’s hand was upon her. And it was !

- - nealsq said
  - 10 Nov 2017
    10:04 pm
I have two prem babies (32 weeks and on day and 33 weeks 5 days), you are told when you can hold them, when you can touch them, you have machine constantly beeping and flashing. You learn what all those beeps mean. Then after a while you get to start trying to feed your baby, then do the “cares” (washing and changing bub) then if you are lucky you get to start holding your baby when you want to and if you are really lucky you get to take your baby home around their due date providing all has gone well

- - ashna9 said
  - 10 Nov 2017
    7:08 pm
I’m sure it would be very hard to bond with your baby when you can’t touch or hold them.

- - mom206279 said
  - 10 Nov 2017
    6:33 pm
It must be hard that early. If you can’t hold them then it just wouldn’t feel real. I didn’t have any issues. I went ten days overdue and just wanted to pass him over to his dad because I felt a bit over bonded.

- - june11 said
  - 10 Nov 2017
    4:14 pm
It is hard if your baby is so tiny and delicate that you can’t hold him/her… you are OK so you are sent home from hospital, sometimes weeks before you can take your baby home. Initially you may be able to touch your baby for a week or more but not be able to have a cuddle at all.

- - mom90758 said
  - 10 Nov 2017
    2:39 pm
With a premature baby it must be a lot more difficult. You can’t hold him as much as a full-term baby. And I find physical contact very important at that age.
Luckily no, I didn’t have any problem bonding with my baby. 20 minutes after she was born, I could already breastfeed her. Nice memories.