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May 29, 2017

6 Comments

An honest reminder to never ask someone when they’re going to get over the death of a loved one. It doesn’t happen. Ever!

Mum of three, Jess from Mishmash Moments shared a beautiful reminder for all grieving families.

Jess wrote on her Facebook page, My brother picked the kids up this morning to take them to get pancakes at the markets.

They’re so excited because they love when Uncle Adam takes them pancakes because he lets them get the ones with chocolate sauce and M&Ms and usually buys them some shitty toy and let’s them go on the jumping castle and then they walk along the break wall and get ice cream because their uncle isn’t a parent yet and so doesn’t understand too much sugar but what else do uncles do.

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Then they come home and he brings me a chai and we sit at the table and talk about the shit brothers and sisters talk about while the kids interrupt us, wanting him to look at fidget spinners and Lego and Ninja Turtles on T.V.

Except none of this happens. Or will ever happen.

Adam died when he was 10 months old. It’s not just the first days or weeks or months that death is felt.

Every day, there’s an empty space in your heart where that person was.

Every Christmas, birthday, holiday, Sunday just because.

Every time your child does something, learns something, finds a new hobby – you wonder if your brother would have liked that too.

Would Adam be picking Dex up to take him to the skate park? Or fishing? Or maybe he’s taught Dex to surf by now. Or he’s shown Lola how to ride a scooter. And he loves making Morrigan laugh and it is so wonderful to watch.

Don’t ever ask someone when they’re going to get over the death of a loved one. It doesn’t happen. You just get better at hiding the hurt.

You can follow more from Jess via Mishmash Moments on Facebook.

Blog: mishmashmoments.com

Share your comments below.

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  • it is a process, that is for sure. you never forget but the grief just changes and you adapt

    Reply

  • I have read articles written by various medical professionals who say that the initial grieving process often takes about a year. Note I said “initial”. You gradually get back into some form of routine in your life. It is much more difficult for a parent who also has grieving children to give help as the same time as coping with your own raw emotions.

    Reply

  • Yes the grieving doesn’t stop. This empty place which ones our loved ones took in, will always be there.

    Reply

  • Yes. That “you just get better at hiding the hurt” is SO right.

    Reply

  • I think grief is one of those things that depends on the person dealing with it, rather than the type of event that caused it. There’s no limit on happiness or sadness, and sometimes the grief process can take longer for one person than the other. We should really be a society that supports each other rather than judge. How lovely would that be??


    • Beautifully written Suzanna. Love to all. <3

    Reply

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