Is this what the perfect parent police are leaving us with? A generation of new mums too scared to follow their own instincts?

A new mum has turned to MoM answers to ask if she is doing the wrong thing by allowing her 8 week old baby to sleep on her chest.

The worried mum posted, “OK my 8 week old Angel had tummy issues early on. Reflux and wind which she doesn’t seem to have too much trouble now. Some but not bad.

“She only sleeps on me at night and wants the boob to fall asleep. She could be asleep 10 minutes and then searches for it again. She will literally suck sleep suck sleep for hours.

“It’s 10pm now and she has been at this since 7.30pm. If she does finally stop and is fast asleep. If I lay her down she stirs instantly.

“I’ve tried heating her bed… will she grow out of this? I’m worried I’m doing the wrong thing. I’m just giving her what she needs.”

MoM answers

Mums have shared their thoughts advising the new mum to do what feels right and know she is definitely not doing anything wrong and she is a great mum for doing the best thing for her tiny bubba.

“They are all so different you can only do what you think is right for your child. Some will grow out of it and some will keep going until you’ve had enough. If it is working for your family and you then it’s fine if not then see the health center and they can help you with a sleep specialist,” responded one mum.

Another said, “Babies change all the time, she will change.”

“Yes! I help my baby to sleep a lot at first, he is 3 months old now and getting better at sleeping in his bassinet. My other two kids sleeping their beds and go to sleep on their own most night! PLUS, you don’t see many 20 year olds sleeping on their parents chest! lol So they all grow out of it at some point. Just try get them sleeping in the cot as much as you can and thats all you can do. 8 weeks is very young,” wrote another.

Do what you feel is right said another, “If you are happy doing what you’re doing then by all means keep going! You are supporting your baby. Personally, I found with my daughters relux elevating her cot helped a lot. Also, persistence in getting her to sleep in the cot was important to me as I didnt feel safe with her sleeping on my chest and also I couldnt get sleep. Sometimes just trying something else like patting or sitting beside the cot and it may take a little longer but they will adjust. With the falling asleep feeding, you could try feeding, change nappy then settle to break this association, but again depends what works for you.”

Another shared, “Your baby is still very young and might go through a growth spurt which often goes hand in hand with fussiness. It sounds like cluster feeding to me and this is totally normal.”

What the experts say

Pamela S Douglas, General Practitioner, Researcher, at The University of Queensland says Australia is failing new parents with conflicting advice and it’s urgent we get it right.

She claims our health professionals often recommend approaches to behaviour problems in infants – such as with breastfeeding, crying and fussing, or sleep – that have been demonstrated to be ineffective. Some recommendations actually risk worse health outcomes for both the mother and baby.

She added, “Australian parents receive vastly conflicting advice from different health disciplines, or even from different health professionals in the one discipline. Confusion during an already challenging life transition drives parents to seek opinions from multiple providers.”

Read more here – Australia continues to fail new parents with conflicting advice

Did you struggle with conflicting advice as a new mum?

Share your comments below

  • This was from my question ???? so nice to get so many replies.


  • We got so much advice from everyone, but in the end you have to do what’s right for your child and your family


  • All the time until I decided not to ask for anymore advice and went with my own devices. I found a lot of people not just give their advice but their opinions and make you feel worse off for asking.


  • Do what you think is best, our mothers’ advice can also be helpful.

    I turned to my parents for everything.


  • It is sad that new mummies are feeling so worried about doing the right thing, just because of the conflicting advice out there.


  • Gosh this takes me back I had the same issue. Whatever works mama to give you rest

    • Mums do need a rest and happy mum means happy baby.


  • As a new mum I stressed over weather I was doing things right or not and every one seemed to have a different way of doing things or different advice which was stressful. I think if you do what you think is right and what is helping your baby then you cant go wrong. If I ever had a second child, then I wouldn’t worry about all the things I worried about with my 1st


  • Yes with my first I found it so hard to deal with, me second and third I listened to no one except myself


  • It’s so hard especially being a new mum, you take everyone’s word as gospel especially professionals like Midwife’s but there is nothing like your own instinct, especially a mothers instinct. Follow that & you can never go wrong.


  • We did not struggle – we went with what made the babies happy and in turn made us happy.


  • Oh yes SO MUCH conflicting advice. Before we’d even left the hospital! From the midwives!


  • Some babies, especially newborns like the warmth of your body against their tummies. Sleeping on their backs means they lack extra bonding and natural warmth.


  • This is what we have created for new Mum’s its heartbreaking. All Mum’s worry and when you can’t get a straight answer you think your failing


  • I got so much conflicting advice while trying to get bub to latch. I think I was told at least five different things it’s hard to work out what’s right.


  • I didn’t struggle with conflicting advice, because I didn’t ask much advice. Yes I’ve read a lot and formed mt opinuon based on tbat and my own instincts.
    In this example it sounds like clustetfeeding to me and that is totally normal and I would go with the flow

    • Oh my goodness, so much spellings mistakes ! I don’t do well typing on my phone


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