This is such a good story as I have a 19 year old daughter and waiting for the day when she will totally change and don’t need us anymore , but she is too comfortable at home . When you love your kids a lot , it is hard to accept when they change their identiies and do the ” runner ” on you but in your case , I think your daughter just want to be ” different ” and don’t want to have in her eyes a “boring ” life so she decided to be the total opposite. It is true not everyone can afford to fly o/seas for any wedding and I would be the same but there are ways to amend that loss and if you cant do it ask her to make an effort to see you soon and talk about how the wedding went that day and then have a special dinner for a “post wedding ” day . Anything is possible , but you haven’t lost your daughter at all, she just became a “new ” person .

Thank you ladies for your lovely comments. Unfortunately my daughter lives the other end of the Country, last time she came and stayed it was aweful. We had nothing against her partner, absolutely nothing, but our daughter used that for an excuse to leave early.

Also, we are smokers, and our daughter used to be a smoker. We would go to the bedroom and shut our door to smoke. The next day, our daughter said that the smoking gave them a headache, they also had their door shut and their bedroom was the other side of the house. It had never worried our daughter before, and as I suffer chronic pain, I am unable to go outside. So that was another reason they left early. This broke my heart, so she told me in no uncertain terms that she would never come to our home again.

I am trying hard to give up smoking, really hard, but when there were excuses to leave it was awful, she broke my heart.

I have tried and always backed down when our daughter has a go at me, which is often, but the last time she really was awful. Really rude, and I was crying so hard. I would never had said anything like that to my parents even swearing. It was all through Social media and so for the first time I had to stand up to her, and said I wouldn’t talk until I got an apology. She said she would never apologise and I deserved every word.

I love my daughter so much, I even care for her partner and her boys. I told her partner over the phone that I had nothing against her, I didn’t know what the problem was.

I know my daughter has been to hell and back, we have always stood by her and helped her no matter what as that is what you do for your kids. But swearing and cursing for something out of my control was difficult to take.

x

This is so hard. I believe if you want someone in your life, then you need to forget the hurt and move forward. if you want them in your life, tell them you want them

it is hard to say anything to you when i have not been in this position. Maybe you just have to accept that this IS her. Holding onto the past will only hurt you. I am glad that you still love her. ALL love is equal. Maybe invite her to visit you or skype