Hello!

As a mum of boys, I have accepted the fact that certain things will happen in my house that I do not understand.

Things that probably never crossed my radar earlier.

I have a brother, so I was exposed to some of these things growing up, but my two boys have well and truly opened my eyes.

My husband is one of four boys, so he is already across all these things. He knows what to expect and isn’t really surprised when I tell him stuff our boys have done.

If you’re a mum of boys, I’m sure you will totally be able to relate to these:

Transformers

It’s not just its ability to change from vehicle to robot, but that you HAVE to make the noise that goes along with it when you transform it. I know you’re now making this noise in your head. My eldest went through a phase when we had to play Transformers all the time. The trolley (i.e. me) had to make Transformer noises when we were doing the food shopping; he had to make the noise before he went in the bath. Basically whenever you went to do a different action or task, the noise had to accompany it.

Farts

Apparently they are hilarious. I just don’t get it. When one of our boys farts, the other laughs like it is the funniest thing they have ever heard. Our six year old has actually laughed so hard after his brother has farted, he fell off the chair. Now our toddler laughs at himself when he farts.

Their bedrooms

Smell like dirty socks, pretty much every day. I air out the boy’s rooms every day along with emptying their laundry hampers, so I’m still baffled as to why the rooms get whiffy. God know how bad they’re going to smell when they’re teenagers.

Minecraft

What is with that?! Our six year old can talk about it for ages. Non-stop. The other day he talked about Minecraft for almost 40 minutes straight.

But when I ask him about his day at school, I get a one sentence answer (if I’m lucky), and that’s it.



Identifying dinosaurs correctly

Bonus points if you can translate their name too. Now I was a total dinosaur nerd when I was a kid. Seriously. When I was seven, I told my parents I wanted to be a paleontologist when I grew up. So I get this one, kind of. Although, I don’t recall asking about who would win in a battle of T-Rex vs Allosaurus, or who was more vicious. Or did any of the dinosaurs have poisonous spit… But when I can answer my six year old’s question of “what does ‘velociraptor’ mean”, and tell him “speedy thief”, he is impressed. I’m a “cool Mum”.

Dolls

Do not, under any circumstances, joke about giving them a Barbie for their birthday. I didn’t think it was that big a deal. Boys can play with dolls, just as girls can play with cars. Based on our son’s reaction though, I was wrong.

It is not cool. It will not be well received. There will be tears.

Wrestling

My husband was away a lot for work when our eldest was little so I did a lot of the typical dad-son stuff with him so he didn’t miss out. Like wrestling. Until I ended up with a little finger hooked in my nose that was so shockingly painful, it brought tears to my eyes. Wrestling was put on hold after that.

Pee on the bathroom floor

For crying out loud, I have lost count of how many times this has happened and I’ve had to clean the floor AGAIN. How hard is it?!

We have now painted a Lego man silhouette on the downstairs toilet door. It acts as a sign that this is a toilet used by boys. It tells our guests “there is a good chance there will be pee on the floor, so watch where you step”.

Do you have boys? What other things do you think mums of boys would understand?

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  • Im a mum of 3 girls so didnt have to deal with boys things :)

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  • They are so messy. Empty drink bottles, plates etc. Do they not know that take two more steps and you can put them in the sink not on the bench!

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  • Where does the obsession with bodily functions come from.

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  • I’ve a boy, but he’s first of all the most neat, tidy and well organised of my kids. He’s doesn’t role over laughing about farts and does them himself mostly only in the bathroom ! He has sisters and certainly played with dolls and barbies which I also gave for his BD (the boy barbies). Now at 12 he doesn’t play with dolls anymore, but every now and then he and his sisters get all the build-a-bears out and play with them (he also still sleeps with them). Maybe he has some feminine sides ?

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  • Yep I get a lot of this. Also the play fighting like they’re power rangers/superheroes. They totally think they are the real deal and we all know what pretend fighting leads to…someone getting hurt. Also how much they EAT! I don’t know how I’m going to afford to feed them when they’re teenagers.

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  • That was funny, the bit about farts lol!

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  • I had a brother, but nothing prepared me for a son. Yes, the farts and the laughter at ridiculous things, and the wrestling with his Dad, and many things that have me scratching my head as to why you would even consider doing that!! I’ve learned to just accept it, not try to understand it.

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  • I have been extremely lucky – I had two of each.

    Boys, yes, they fight and punch each other and really mean it and be best mates the next minute. I never heard a word about a blue at school ever. They are 17 and 28. Yes, they are dirty and smelly, which I might add, smells worse as a teenager. Yes, farts are funny and burps are too but me standing on a somewhat soggy mat as my boys have just been to the loo – NOT so funny. Boys love their mums and sometimes tell us things we really don’t want to know ! They don’t sulk – the hit something, like a wall. They only want their mum when they are hurt , sick ( or drunk ) they love you more then ! You have to tell boys to do something time and again, ” you only have one job,to take the bins to the wheelie bin and put the wheelie bins out on a Wednesday” ! I tell them all the time, lately his comeback “can’t anyone else out the bins out?” Well, yes they can son, but it’s one of the two things you have to do in this house ! The other one is to either wash or wipe up on alternate nights Cheeky bugger. That’s 17 for ya ! Don’t ask about 28 – he comes with other issues, but all in all boys are lots easier than girls ! That’s my opinion anyway !

    Girls. M where to start – they can say words that can cut you up on the very first day of preschool. My daughter crying on the second day “we don’t want play with you today”. Explain that one to a weeping five year old ! Can’t tell you what I was thinking about doing to that kid !!! Girls gossip – no getting around that one, they talk behind each other’s back and THEN it now gets played out over the Internet ! Little cows ! Girls can be thick as thieves one minute and pulling each other’s hair out the next minute, ok if it stopped there. BUT IT DOESN’T, does it ? This little tiff can go on for days, weeks, months, and yes, even years ! And sometimes that’s me ! Seriously though, one girl told the class that she was going home to get policeman father’s gun ! That was grade 3 ! I became the best at giving these little brats a face that would kill a water buffalo ! No one else sees it – just the one that wants to shoot my kid ! Or, as I did – say to my girl in the within earshot of the would be muderous child – “don’t worry love, don’t speak to her, you only lower yourself to her level the”. One of my girls is a perfectionist, tidy OCD freak, my other one is a messy shite sometimes ! One is tattooed, the other has her ears done.

    Just goes to show, kids are all different, my four are nothing like each other, nothing in common.

    Oh yes they do, they all think I am a physco and an overprotective, won’t go to bed until they are home, ring me when you get there, if you go out let me know before hand where you’re going and finally, call me when you get home again, to your friends place !!! The drove my kids to school every day of their lives, put on morning teas, coached soccer, did tuck shop for 22 years , was judge on race days and was a helper parent at swimming and on so many visits to museums, plays, walks around the city, walks around the suburb, helped out on working bee days, went to meeting after meeting( often same meeting but one or two years apart ! ), did reading at school, ran groups for religion preparation for sacraments, etc, etc, etc. yeah, I’m THAT physco mum. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve loved it all.

    The thing is honestly, it doesn’t matter what they do, I just love them and stand behind them. When I need to and stand beside them when they want me to. They are kids. My husband passed away in 1999 and I have done the lot, on my own and I’d do it all over again ! My children aren’t perfect, hell, neither am I – we argue, because we have different opinions and no two people are alike.

    I live for the children and I just love my children and I get the same love in return. A.

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  • Hallelujah I am not the only one!!! I have three boys, we have sort of passed the transformers phase, still love learning and watching dinosaurs, but I must use correct terms and scientific names. Minecraft!!!! we live and breathe it.. every day on each phone and computer, good news though, they work together and share tips and play together. I just don’t understand a word.

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  • Lol, I can relate. But my now 10 year old went through a stage that he wanted to have pink clothes and dress like a girl and princesses. He also played with dolls and got them for his birthday including a Ken barbie. He’s the most neat in our house and we call him our tidy-up machine :)

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  • haha I can relate, my 22 month old always laughs when he farts and then says pooh!

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  • So lucky I had boy girl boy girl – so I missed out on much of this – they just had to get along.

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  • Hahaha! This article is spot on! I’d also add burping and a seemingly endless fascination with their penises! ;)

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  • Oh how true. I have 3 boys, the pee the wrestling, farts and burp are hysterical. My house is a race track, crickey pitch, footy oval and littered with their clothes. One of my boys said to me the other day…it’s true that guys can fight and 30 seconds later they are best friends again, girls don’t (screwed up face).

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  • The dreaded toilet floor!!! Another is the pile of washing. With my girls, there’s quantities of clean washing left in the laundry. With my boys, there’s quantities of DIRTY, really dirty washing left in the laundry, the bathroom, the bedroom, and outside. And do we mention what we find in their pockets???

    Reply

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