His wife says that whenever she suggests having quality time together, he asks if the kids can tag along…

A confused mum has shared her difficult relationship dilemma on Trib Live saying that her husband won’t go on a date with her unless their kids are included as well. Her husband told her that because they both work high pressure jobs, any down time they get should be spent together as family and not just with each other…

Craving Quality Time

The mum said that her husband’s disinterest in spending time with her is becoming a real problem. “We haven’t been out together alone in over a year,” she wrote. “And that includes our fifth wedding anniversary because he wanted to spend it with the kids.” Despite her understanding at the time, she said it is becoming increasingly difficult to cope with the situation. “I could basically force him to go out with me, but it is clear he doesn’t want to and, honestly, it doesn’t feel great to be on a date with my husband who doesn’t want to be there,” she said. In an attempt to compromise with her husband, the mum suggested a lunch or dinner every three months as a way to make scheduling in time together easier, but he refused to commit to the idea.

A Happy Ending?

The mum said she is in desperate need of some time alone time to work on their relationship. “I want a separate relationship with my husband,” she wrote, admitting that they were starting to lose each other in the craziness of work and home life. The advice columnist, Carolyn Hax, said that the mum had every right to be upset. “That your husband won’t go out with you alone, ever, is a significant marriage problem,” she said. “Insist, flat out, that you go on some kind of retreat together, alone, to find the brakes. Before everything crashes, before the kids get hurt.”

Given the importance of spending time as a couple, we can completely understand this mum’s frustration. Even though it’s not always easy, making quality time with your partner a priority can only strengthen your relationship.

Do you struggle to spend time alone with your partner? Let us know in the comments.

  • Is it even a date if it’s with the kids? Parents need time alone to reconnect too.


  • Yeah priorities change and it’s hard to think of ‘wasting?’ time without the kids but it used to be me that wanted to include the kids all the time until hubby pointed out that they do sleep you know. From there it because a thing, only around once a month initially, to organise (very little effort required for tired parents) a small ‘date pack’. A few extra items picked up in the weekly shop, a rug & candles (even fake flowers :-) )….lumped together in a basket & on an evening or even weekend day when rugrats down for a nap the basket could be whipped out, the chores forgotten (they’re not going anywhere….beside, priorities you know), and we’d have a short ‘date’. It became a fun thing to do and we’d feel special ‘bonded’ triumph if we made it to the hour before interruptions.


  • When you have kids your whole life changes you can’t except to do the same things as you were single
    Spending time one on one is hard when you have a large family just enjoy family dinners together and watch a movie at home when kids go to bed.


  • It’s important everyone’s needs are met and I don’t think once every three months is a lot to ask.


  • We have quite a limited alone time and sure think spending time together as a family is important.


  • Yep definitely need alone time as parents to wind down. It’s nice he likes to involve kids too so perhaps just speak to him about how she is feeling


  • I feel for her. A strong healthy relationship needs to have some mummy daddy one on one time. Once every now and then would hurt him to go out with his wife. Spend the day with the kids, then dinner out with your wife!


  • My husband and I have very limited alone time, but we also enjoy our time together as a family.


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