I would suggest you need to talk to someone about your issues. It sounds to me you might be a bit depressed, seek help asap

I have never had a stem cell treatment, it sounds incredibly difficult and I don’t think you’re selfish fir feeling the way you do. Things happen that make you ask why,mothers aren’t any reasons or answers though

No Not at all, but my thoughts are with you for speedy and healthy recovery.

You have certainly been through a hard time & your body needs to heal. I would talk to your oncologist regarding the side effects of your medication & any other queries as they have the best advice for you. Wishing you good health & happiness.