Loved reading the comments on this as I have a cousin going through the same thing, he’s paying maintenance for a baby he doesn’t even know us his for sureand never sees her because the mum won’t be allow it. A DNA test would be handy

If the mum had nothing to hide, why restrict access after requesting the test? Bit dodgy. Hope you find the answers you need and the child is okay afterwards. Good luck!

Really very interesting reading the comments on this!

Does she have the legal right for you not to see the child, if not you have all rights to go see the child and have the test done. The child in question is currently listed as his child, so as a parent he has rights. She cant tell you to keep away with the legal right to do so.

i don’t have any ideas on how to go about this

this would be very hurtful for the child involved. parents are not who donates the sperm but who has been there for the child

Does your husband want the paternity test done? If he considers this child his no matter what the outcome then it would be absolutely unnecessary. If he is concerned over passing child support for a child that is not his, then legal aid could probably help.

This is hard because if you don’t see the child it makes it very difficult to get the test done. If your husband had access to the children then you could simply go and get the bloods done. The only way around it is a lawyer to serve the mother with papers saying that is has to be done. Maybe legal aid might be able to help or I would even phone up and talk to the child support people, they may have some good advise.

how did you go with it?

I think you need him and the child involved to get the test…so the mum would probably need to agree

Is he paying child support? I would think he would be entitled to a paternity test if he is.

I would just do the paternity test.

yeah absolutely let your husband decided what he wants to do. I think a lot of new partners have the belief that the child does not look like their husband

Very difficult situation, with a lot of things to consider. Good luck to all concerned

How does your husband feel? It’s his call. If he really has doubts, and really wants to know, and really wants to see more of the child if it’s his… Then save up for a lawyer. But before you get too carried away, remember that genes are funny funny things and just because you can’t see a physical resemblance doesn’t mean that’s not his child.

further, how does your husband feel, if he sees no need for a paternity test, drop the issue as it may cause a rift between you, he is the one it concerns.

this is so hard but if in doubt, get the paternity test. That way you will know as you are comitting yourself emotionally and financially.

Hard one. Does she want money from you? If not then maybe leave it. The kid will just get hurt. Maybe ask the child support mob if they can help. Just remember that their is a little heart in the mix that could very easily get broken. Good luck. I really feel for you.

I’m sorry these things always cause. problems. It’s one thing to be suspicious but it’s never fair on the child. Regardless of who’s DNA the child has they only know 1 father. This can bring harsh feelings of rejection. If he truly feels this isn’t his kid then maybe it is just best that he doesn’t have contact because the child feel always feel rejected. I think just by asking for a DNA test he has already lost his child. The only advice I could offer is if it’s really that important to save up and get a lawyer. There’s really not many options. Otherwise maybe have a civil conversation with the mother if possible. Maybe it’s not his kid or maybe she’s deeply hurt and feels that they child will feel the same. Sometimes it’s just not worth it. So many families have been broken up like this even in the case where the child does share DNA. The child feels rejected and it puts a major strain on the relationship. This is what your partner needs to weigh up.

To be honest I don’t think this is your call. Your husband needs to sort this out.