Do you have NDIS funding for your child ? Aspergers falls under the group of Autism and the NDIS does cover Autism. However, an Autistic person must be diagnosed as “Level 2 (Requiring substantial support) or Level 3 (Requiring very substantial support)” to receive funding from the NDIS.

People with Asperger’s & Autism often have problems with executive functioning. Executive functioning is necessary for planning, decision-making, impulse control, and emotional regulation. This can cause problems with communication, follow through, planning, self-care, and rigid thinking.
I therefore wouldn’t see your daughters behaviour as lying and stealing and would not implement a punitive approach. I may be helpful to talk with a psychologist or behaviour specialist.

Whilst my two children (one with Aspergers and one with moderate to severe autism) are now adults, I found that when they were growing up, the best approach was talking to them. Acknowledge that they may not care how they behave but let them know how it makes you feel, and what it might make people at school feel. Relate what’s happening with what they do right now and their relationships. Children and adults with ASD thrive on cold, hard facts. As your daughter gets older, start to talk about the effects of her behavior if she behaves that way outside of the family and school. For example, she may not be given a job, people may not be her friend, she may end up with a criminal record if she keeps going the way she is going, etc. Try to remain factual and not too emotional or overreact. Just a plain old discussion usually works. For example, when my daughter was young, she became fascinated with swear words. She would either hear or read a situation and proffer the swear word that meant the same thing. I would simply say, yes, you are right but that is not the type of word we say in front of other people. However, even kids with ASD are individuals and what works for some may not work for others. Just mix it up a bit and see how you go.

Both my grandsons are Asperger’s people. When diagnosed which was about 20yrs ago hardly anyone knew anything about it but my daughter read all she could on the subject and found out what she could get from the government because she’s a single mother and she found there were resources if you really look. It seems to me that everyone here is offering some type of help to you and you keep coming up with excuses. No matter where you live there are resources. You must look for them. Read everything you can about Asperger’s. you have to become the expert more or less and you have to be your daughter’s advocate. Nothing less. Help is out there.

Do you receive NDIS funding for your child ? When not I would apply for it. I would certainly seek psychological help and possibly positive behaviour intervention

Along with seeking out professional services; reading and researching books on this issue might help.

I will have a go at trying to reward good behaviour, but I must admit it is very frustrating when she does something naughty. Just this week I discovered she had stolen some make up from me. I had asked her about some lip gloss that had gone missing and she point blank lied and said she didn’t take it. When I noticed more things missing (after weeks) I confronted her and she finally came clean.

Finding people who are trained in assessing kids on the spectrum is also a challenge apparently – the school psychologist has admitted that she isn’t and there isn’t anyone who is in her organisation. It’s certainly hard, but we will see how we go.

My adult son has recently been diagnosed as on the spectrum. All these years we had no idea

I work with special needs children and can tell you that each one is different. What might work for one child will not work for another. Keep trying different things and im sure you will stumble upon what works for you.

We found that neither punishments or rewards worked with my son. We’re still struggling with this one.

Getting cross or punishments of any sort don’t work with my daughter at all but I do find that she does do well with a reward system. Ie instead of taking something from her for bad behaviour, i reward her with something for good behaviour.

Seeking out organisations and support services that specialise in providing education, support, resources and contacts is a good idea. I would hope a GP would be able to refer or provide guidance to suitable organisations and services.

I’m not sure that punishment is the right way to go. Maybe look at it from the other way – Focus on positive behaviours. Ask her if there is something that she would like as a reward, for telling the truth. Give her positive attention when she does something ‘good’. As every neuro divergent child is different, it is difficult to respond without knowing yours. Also – Maybe have a talk with her about how important it is that you can trust her. Is there something that you can pass on to her to be responsible for? Build up her confidence with responsibility. There may be something that she isn’t communicating with you. A good psychologist can help too. Sorry it’s a bit of a scattered answer, I’m just kind of brain storming.

Can you get any help from her school? Anyone they can maybe recommend that could help? Sometimes they can have some great resources.

Finding someone who specialises in kids on the spectrum can be a huge resource. A family member was able to a few years ago for their child who was around 10yo. They were able to meet with the child several times and give advice specific to them. I know it can be a resource that’s very hard to gain access to, but it might be worth looking into. The first step would be enquiring with your GP.

Would be nice to talk to a GP but getting into one is hard in Tassie and they’re all only open 9am-5pm. I also don’t know that they would bulk bill for this. I will definitely look into things once the assessment comes back.

Maybe talk to your gp? I’m sure he can give you some advice who to talk to.

We’ve just now finally started the process of our daughter being assessed through her school- there was a 2 year waiting list. I am hopeful that after she is officially assessed/diagnosed, we might be able to get her in for some counselling or something. Unfortunately, the cost of paying for these services privately is just too much living in Tasmania…

I’d seek some external help, It’s a common challenge with neurodivergent kids. Traditional punishment often doesn’t work, so focusing on positive reinforcement and clear communication strategies can be more effective.