Hello!

My son and daughter in law live in a different state with my 2 grandchildren, which is tough for me. I visit them a couple of times a year, send regular parcels, I often win toys for them etc I try regular face times, but it doesn’t always suit their busy schedule so I’ve dropped off a bit. I rarely get any photos, videos, facetimes, acknowledgement of things I send. It upsets me a bit, but I haven’t said anything, until Christmas 2023. They all went to the other nan’s house for a few days over Xmas. Bad phone and internet reception so I didn’t get a facetime of them opening presents from me, no photos or videos of them opening presents, enjoying Xmas etc. No text to explain why. So I finally spoke up and said I was upset about it all, not just Christmas. My son says I’m being selfish and just wrong about it all. I understand the bad reception, but facetime before or after their visit, photos taken, videos made to send later, at least an explanation as to why Christmas interactions wouldn’t happen on the day. But I got nothing. As mentioned, it wasn’t just Christmas Day. Am I being wrong and selfish to want more when it concerns my grandkids?


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  • It’s tough. Communication with them has been completely cut off due to this. Not helped by MoMs posting the question on FB. My dil saw it, showed my son, they worked out it was me. To say my son was not impressed is an understatement. Even tho I had no control over MoMs posting it on FB


  • It really depends on the details of the situation


  • I don’t think it’s selfish at all to want to be an active grandparent and it must be tough that it is not reciprocated back.
    Has there ever been any issues between you and your son/wife?


  • I dont think it’s selfish. It’s really tough to be separated from grandkids and kids


  • I’m sorry to hear that, and that you’re upset. It’s completely understandable to want more connection with your grandkids. Expressing your feelings is valid, and a compromise for communication might help bridge the gap between your expectations and their busy schedules. You’re not wrong or selfish.


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