Definitely an unfair situation. Perhaps ask the coach what role your son will be undertaking each week prior to driving all that way and let the coach know that if your son is scheduled on water boy duties that you won’t be able to drive him all that way only for him not to play. There should be a rotational roster for water boy duties. If that doesn’t change the situation – change teams.

There is usually someone above the coach. Someone has to pick the coach right? I’d perhaps have a word IF you think it’s worth staying with them. There are always other options and potentially closer to home. This can’t be his only chance to achieve his goals. The world is so big. I’d be looking at other options as a bit of homework and Plan B, then to discuss with your son that we can speak to management of the club and hope for change or there are ‘these’ options to change and try somewhere new. Teaching hin to walk away from a situation that is not good for him is a great lesson to learn early.

Talk to your son about what he wants. I’d be speaking to the coach politely and hopefully with the backup of the other parents.

I think that if your district has some sort of governing body, you should approach them and express your concerns – inlcuding your fear of being forced out altogether.

Yes I absolutely agree. The impact of being sidelined is very negative on self esteem and the feeling of joy in the sport you so love ! Instead of building your self esteem, being side lined will push you down and possible create doubt towards your feelings of abilities. Instead of finding joy in doing the sport you love, being sidelined will decrease your joy and fill you with disaapointment. This clearly will impact your health and the choice to stand up and move (although not easy) may be a very good one.

Also; extra to my comment below; when we did move teams, it was an incredibly good and healthy decision. When we moved it improved the health and wellbeing of everyone in the family. Sport became a joy again and it really is so important to enjoy sport and enjoy being a member of a team.

Oh I can absolutely relate! We live in a rural country town and travel 4 hours round trip every Wednesday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday for games and training. My daughter plays district as well as state rep. Over the years we have moved district clubs.. The first club we were at for 2 years but there defiantly were favourites in the team and my daughter just was not given the opportunities that she deserved. We change clubs and the coach made her starting 5 and point guard which not only lifted her spirits but her skill level. She then went on to make the state U16 team. Playing against that first district team that she left she was nervous at first to see everyone again but she went out there and had one of her best games ever with her new district team. Changing clubs was not something we took lightly, we put a lot of thought into it – but for all the things you mention above – it was the reason we left after seeing her sit on the bench for most of the games – only now to be playing more minutes than anyone and representing her state. Change is hard, but sitting on the sidelines can be harder. Best of luck.

Oh, I completely get why you’re feeling so upset. You’ve been so committed, not just to your son but to this team, with all the hours and travel you’re putting in. It’s heartbreaking to see him work so hard and end up on the sidelines.

Maybe a gentle chat with the coach could help, just to see if there’s a way to get him more involved. If you keep it supportive, like asking what he might need to work on, it might open a door without causing tension. And if it doesn’t improve, it might be worth exploring other teams or districts where he’d get the chance he deserves to play.

You’re doing a wonderful job supporting him, and I hope it works out for you both. ????

Aw, this sounds very unfair indeed. You would expect from a coach to live out good sportmanships values with fair and generous behaviour or treatment of others, especially in a sporting contest. I would speak with the coach saying that he doesn’t show and act the right sportmanships values and that you therefore have decided to move your son to a different club. You may want to speak to his manager too

Unfortunately this can occur in sports teams and we have experienced something similar. We spoke up and we eventually parted ways with the team and it was a good decision for the children and us. It was important for us to stand up for our children and other children that were not getting game time. We spoke to the coach and expressed how we felt. We ending up moving to a healthier team dynamic and healthier mindset about sport and team work.

i dont have the solution. but it is sad to hear that you are experiencing this. Specially for the younger kids. but dont listen what others says. sometimes the situation may have changed with the management. best to raise your voice. you will find the solution for it for sure.

This is really sad and I am so sorry you are going through this and for your son too. That is not acceptable. Is there a local council you can go speak to or the club president? The other option is to move your son to a place closer to home that has a better community vibe that includes all kids.

I’m so sorry, this absolutely sucks for your son. Are you paying the same fees for him not to play? That wouldn’t be on for me. I know loyalty is important, but I would be looking elsewhere so your child is actually participating in something he loves. It sounds like no one in your family is benefitting from this. I would chat to your son and make sure he’s okay with changing, then reaching out to other teams.