Baby’s daddy has an alcohol addiction and has lost his license. It’s been a long term problem and he has memory loss if he’s been drinking, so doesn’t remember his behaviour. I left him when I was 32 weeks pregnant because it was volatile at home… but he has a right to know his son… what should I do? We’re not in the courts.

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  • Would be his issue to keep the relationship going, Uber taxi eg. Not your problem

  • I agree that the safety for your child and yourself go first, but sure important for your child to have contact with dad and for dad to have contact with child, never without supervision and under conditions.

  • Keep your child safe

  • I agree with letting him have a relationship with his son, it might help him to get his life on track. BUt never unsupervised, always with you or someone else you trust around.

  • I agree with keeping it out of the courts, but for your baby’s safety, supervised visits only.

  • Keep it out of the courts if you can. Let him know that the you will always do what is best for your son and that it is important for them both to have a positive relationship. It may mean lots of outings together as a group until he gets his addiction under some control. Start off with how you continue to progress.

  • Good on you for not rewarding divorce lawyers! Spend time with him and watch him with the baby. Talk to him and encourage him to stay away from alcohol for the sake of his son. Help him to beat his addiction Maybe find some alcohol rehabilitation centres for him.. If you want some time to yourself, get a family member to be with daddy when the baby is with him.

  • Supervised contact only would be my advice.

  • Get some support from services such as Anglicare regarding contact. Is he wanting contact? If he isn’t asking, don’t push it. If he is, do contact together for now. If he puts you or your child in danger or is abusive end the contact session. You are your child’s voice and their right to a safe environment trumps the father having unsafe contact.

  • Professional support and advice might be a good idea in this situation.

  • His son also has a right to know his Dad. Talk to him. Tell him, discuss this. Maybe you can sort out supervised contact with a supportive relative of his.

  • I think at least get legal advice regarding this. Even if you’re not in the court system, if you do cut contact or reduce contact and he’s not happy, he could initiate going down that path.

  • You should weigh the risks here. If you feel he has a right to your son, you probably need to be there for visits, but that sounds like it could raise risk to you. Sometimes people can’t be helped until they want to help themselves. If I was in this situation, I would be putting the wellbeing and safety of my child before the relationship with his dad. At least until his dad can be a positive impact to his life.

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