Hello!

So it turns out my cousin was having an affair. Her husband is devastated and he’s a really nice guy, a true gentleman.

Due to her infidelity they are getting divorced.

Am I wrong to cut out my cousin from my life in favour of her preserving my relationship with her husband? I mean he is not to blame and I think he should be supported.


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  • If you have angry feelings towards your cousin tell her that what she did was very uncalled for but you still live her. Perhaps her story runs deep. Perhaps she didn’t feel beautiful enough and was battling with those feelings within herself. Stay friends with both as they both need support right now but let them know that you will absolutely not take sides. Watch Iyanla Vanzant Fix My Life full episodes on YouTube. She always has great advice on how to deal with these things. Do not ley them feel abandoned. That’s the worst thing for them to feel


  • Why would you need to cut her off? Yes she is in the wrong, but could you not have a relationship with both of them?


  • Yes, you are wrong. If you get along with your cousin, no reason to cut contact. No reason why you can’t be there for both people. You don’t know why she had an affair, she could be unhappy. Anyway, it’s not for you to judge


  • Unsure why you need to cut someone completely, it doesn’t directly affect you. You can be civil to both sides without supporting the cousin for the wrong doing


  • No your totally right, i would do the same thing. I have cousins i havent spoken to in 11 years and it has made zero difference to my life. Keep those around you who you truly love.


  • I think it’s great of you to support the one that truly needs it the most. I’ve seen people side with those in the wrong just cause they are family. Great work! I would do the same.


  • I agree he needs support, but you don’t have to be black and white and cut her out altogether.


  • I reckon just be civil, taking sides seems immature and at the end of the day it’s really none of your business, it wasn’t your relationship so just stay out of it and be supportive to the partner if that’s what you want


  • I agree, I wouldn’t cut your cousin totally out of your life because she made this mistake. In the end, who are we to judge ? we don’t know the full story and we all make mistakes indeed. Nothing with supporting her ex, but maybe don’t turn your back at her


  • Whatever decision is made do allow time for due consideration of all factors.


  • If they have kids they’ll need to have an ongoing relationship. Try to find a way to stay civil with both.


  • Do you need to cut her out all together? Coming from a nonjudgmental stance is more supportive to both parties.


  • Why can’t you be friends with your cousin and also be friends with her ex husband. If you take sides and things go back to the way they were, it could be very awkward for you. Be friends to both. Unless you don’t like your cousin.


  • You don’t really know what happened to cause this. You can remain friends with both of them surely. Do what your heart is telling you to do


  • This is a tricky one and depends on so many variables. Do what feels right for you and what you can live with.


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