I think it’s important to discuss things with your ex and for you two to be on one line. Acting in your child’s best interest is most important. The key to successful co-parenting is to separate the personal relationship with your ex from the co-parenting relationship. It may be helpful to start thinking of your relationship with your ex as a completely new one—one that is entirely about the well-being of your children, and not about either of you.

It’s tough now, but he will thankful for it when he’s older. Maybe a chat with dad, if dad is open to do things a little differently, it could make life easier for you

Maybe a good talk with dad, set some rules and boundaries for you to both stick to.

Oh dear. I don’t have any advice sorry but lots of hugs! You are doing a great job!

Have a chat with your ex and get him on the same page as you. Keep trying, good luck.

I don’t think he needs to ‘understand’ that he needs to respect you, he just has to do it. Sounds like you’re doing a great job, keep up the strictness but with lots of praise and cuddles too. Good luck!

You son probably gets his own way with his Dad, making it so much harder for you when he returns home. You will need to talk to your ex and get him on board.

I think you need to try to establish some consistency

you need to talk to your ex and try and help each other out, he is both your child and needs to grow up to be a good decent person and this wont happen if parents don’t work together and help each other

Sometimes kids just need time to understand, you need to talk to your husband to make sure he backs you when it comes to your son and doesn’t say anything bad about you. A friend of mine went through something similar and it took a few years but her boys now understand, love and appreciate her!

Sorry to say this , but if dad doesn’t back you then you will always be the strict one. One plus is that in the long run when he is older he will thank you, and not thank dad.

Keep up what your doing! He won’t understand for a while but when he does he’ll appreciate it!!!

one day he will understand the situation and will realize you discipline him for a reason, keep persisting your doing the right thing. The only way to try and smooth it out a little is talk to the ex and try to work on the same playing field.

If you can talk to your ex and explain what is happening at your house maybe he can talk to your son about different rules at different houses and needing to respect his mum. It is really hard i am a step mum to a now 15 year old and she spent 3 weeks with her mum (no rules at all) then 3 weeks with us with quite strict rules and it was really hard. we kept explaining (when she was younger) that there are different rules for different houses and she had to respect it. it is common for kids to struggle going from house to house and you are not alone with your son acting up. Communication is the key to this issue, try to gently remind him of the rules of your house when he comes back (not straight away) and remember they do get a little confused. good luck it is not easy.

It is very hard but he will grow out of it. For some reason fathers cannot do wrong in the eyes of our children. It will get better but you also have to communicate with the father and try and work it out. If you do this then he knows his father knows and he will not argue with you as you are both on the same side.

It is really hard when there are different rules at different houses. Persist with it, and explain it – Dad might do things differently, but this is how we do things here. Kids need to learn that rules can change – like being on best behaviour at Nanna’s!

My ex and I are on good terms, he is my best friend and I can talk to him about anything. He knows what I am dealing with and has tried to help. Triston will listen as long as he is around enforces any punishment that may linger through his visitation (like being grounded from his bike, video games , etc. )

I have tried both positive and negative reinforcement, I have tried talking to him and explaining that mommy’s job to make rules and make him follow them is so that when he becomes an adult he will understand that he has to make the choices. if he don’t make the right choice he don’t have mommy and daddy to answer to, the police are the ones that decide from there . . I gave him examples like when I’m running late and I really really want to hurry up to get to the dr. Office mommy sometimes wants to speed, however, I know if I do I will get pulled over and get a ticket that I have to pay.

More recently he has been in In School Suspension for 2 days and Out Of School Suspension for 1 all because he felt that putting his hands on another student was the way to go rather than using his words . . I tell all 3 of my children and my nieces and nephews that words do more damage than actions . If you go tell for something someone is doing after you have asked them to stop then your cause is helped . If you use your hands instead of your words then your cause may be helped for the moment but it will come back on you . And I do speak age appropriate. . My 4 year old understands them as “no no’s” and my 7 year old understands them as “bad choices”

We have an appointment with our Child Psychologist on Thursday Morning , where his father will join us . His father dose not agree with the medicines even though he is ADHD as well . . Hopefully I can get some answers soon . .

Thank you all so much for your input . If you would like, I will post and update after our appointment

My daughter has the same problem with my grandson who is also 7. Its such a hard one to answer.

Explain to him that there are different rules for mums house and for dad’s house because every house is different. You can also use the example of school and friends’ houses having different rules and punishments. Then make sure you reward him sometimes and always thank him for good behavior because parents should have manners too (something he might not see at dad’s!).

Its very difficult for you and confusing for your son. But I think you’re doing the right thing. Keep things consistent at your house and he will soon get the idea that there are rules at Mum’s and rule’s at Dad’s and while it may differ he will adjust. Just remenber to keep explaining why things need to be done a certain way and let him like he is part of it and not that he is just being told off all the time. I wish you both well adjusting. It must be very difficult.