kids adjust & accept differences so much more easily than we adults!! we overthink things & cause ourselves so much anxiety over something that might nit actually be a problem at some point in the future… I have friends who have both their respective sets of kids 50/50 with their respextive exes & the kids cope with it fine!! my daughter has two friends who spend some weeknights with mum & some with dad & will sometimes go to ask if she can go home with so & so after school, but then correct herself with…”oh, no I think she’s at her dad’s tonight”….so as they get older even their friends understand how it works!! good luck & try not to stress yourself too much!! kids pick up on that too & will make the most of it!!

Wow that is a dilemma. Perhaps just wait and see, be relaxed with your daughter about going to her dads, don’t let your anxiousness show. In time she will adjust, just like everything else, but if all else fails then you may just have to go to court.

My only piece of advice is to work together for the sake of the child. The more tension you make between each other as parents, the more the child’s life will be disrupted. Hard as it is, you need become a solid family unit. Put aside the hurt and hatred and do the best you can to get along…

As you have said its two years away and you are over reacting and causing yourself much unneeded stress worrying about it now. Anything could happen. Your ex could have a change of job and no longer be working weekends by then.
As far as him throwing such statements at you like ” I guess the courts will have to decide who is the fitter parent”…. Excellent idea he has there because I can tell you that unless you are unfit …which mean you are taking drugs, abusing the child, carrying on illegal activities, etc then it will most certainly swing your way.
A friend of mine put up with her daughters father acting this way for ages and finally had enough and called his bluff. It went to court and he got quite a surprise and found he was ordered to pay her more then he had been. He also has set visitation and cant just call up and take his daughter when he feels like it and he has to collect the child and return her to the home and no longer can demand that the be met at a location half way. he also has to make sure that his daughter has her own room at his place which must be set up with toys and clothing that she uses when there. Big shock to him. So if you want I would suggest calling his bluff and taking it to court and when you are there you can discuss your concerns for when your child starts school and get it all sorted and on paper now.

My 3 boys from my first marriage spend one week with me and then one week with heir dad. They leave for school on a Friday morning from my house and he collects them from school that afternoon Then the following Friday it happens again. Other then being a little tired while in their dads care (he lives a longer drive away from school then me), it works. They have been doing it since the older 2 (twins) were in Kindy & preschool for the younger one, they are now in year 4 & 5. PM if you have questions

I wouldn’t stress too much yet,things can change in 2 years……Dad might not even be working weekends by then…relax and enjoy what you have

Hopefully your daughter will adjust by the time she starts school and it won’t be so disruptive for her. Good luck, it must be very difficult.

I think it’s great that she has a father that wants to be a part of her life.

My kid’s father hasn’t even met his youngest son, nor knows his name.
Though it is unfortunate that you don’t see eye to eye on everything, him being there for your daughter in anyway is the best thing for her x

If you are organized it should be alright shouldnt affect the girl if she is happy with this routine it would probably affect even more if it changes !

As what you said its about 2 years away so give it time and it may work out in the end

Why should e have to find a sitter? Why would he want to? Why wouldn’t he want to spend his hours with his kid? He has to work that can’t be changed.. Kids adjust if parents work together and don’t make the other ones life hard. Talk about a set bed time and homework.

don’t worry about it, in two years time he may have changed his work hours… it is in the future and it isn’t about you or your ex it is all about your childs right to know her dad, even if he is not your favourite person int eh world, it about making her happy and well adjusted and knowing where she came from.

Every parent that has the kids has to find a sitter do can he.

Sounds exactly like my ex! Now that I’ve had enough & taken him to court he’s making me out to be a bad mum yet hasn’t had a problem for the last 4years (go figure!) speak to a lawyer & try to organize mediation for you & your ex, legal aid mediation is two lawyers, you, your ex & a mediator (ex & you in seperate rooms if you wish) & this is actually really effective in working things out according to numerous lawyers I’ve spoken too. Pm me if you like 🙂 Goodluck.

good advice from other parents here

Kids adapt, and when shared parenting, we need to accept how the fathers deal with the children when in their car. I do shared care 47/53 , with my now 5yo. I was getting frustrated and she always seemed tired and cranky when she came home and the tantrums are huge. I opted not to speak to her father about it, and 2 weeks ago, found out she is exactly the same with him, so am now glad I didn’t speak to him about it.

Sorry but I am with him. Plenty of families manage it everyday and kids adjust. What they don’t do well with is parents coming up with every reason why or why not the schedule doesn’t work. They need consistency and predictability .

Children are very adaptable and handle things very well as long as it is a routine and the parents don’t show to much anx and support one another in the whole process ……my son and ex have had this in place for 2 years and the children are doing well

I wouldn’t be too concerned, this is normal for her and she has a routine. If nothing else changes, then it will not affect her even when she is in school because its what she has grown with! It’s healthy to maintain her routine especially when she starts school. The transition to school for kids is hard enough, than her having to deal with personal change. Good luck I’m sure you will make the right decision : )

I thi k as long as you and the father can agree on a set bed time for school nights and any homework that needs doing is done I don’t see the problem with her being there school nights