My cousin and his ex share custody of their 3 boys – all at school – with a little effort, cooperation and communication it can work.
Some people just seem to have their own agenda when it comes to comments here, but at the end if the day if you and your ex want to make it work you can, it doesn’t have to be an issue

I have no advice for you, just wanted to say that your ex sounds exactly the same as mine. My daughter is 3 and has one night a week with her father (that’s all he wanted) Sunday night in week one then Monday night in week two. I get the “I guess the courts can decide who’s the fitter parent” response every time I bring any issue up with him at all. I have the same fears for when my daughter starts school.

And as for letting each parent parent the way they see fit, that’s a load of bull, not every father is a competent father just because the court grants them visitation, the same goes for mothers. Each parent should be given assessed based on their own capabilities and how well they can parent, not based on what so and so down the road does. My ex is a perfect example. He thinks it’s completely normal to wake our daughter before sunrise and take her to the beach to watch the sunrise. That’s fine every now and then, but when she tells him repeatedly that she’s cold and doesn’t like it he replies “well I do so were going” he also see’s fit to put our daughter on the lounge with a movie, tell her to stay there and then go to bed with his girlfriend. Anybody that tells me I should deal with it has another thing coming. No way in hell will I sit back and let it go on the way it is. And no one will ever convince me that he is a fit father an that he should be allowed to do what he likes with our daughter when he has her.

Once you learn to let go and allow him his time and to parent his way, you’ll be less stress. All kids are unsettled for a day after transitioning back to another home, she’s probably like it for him too. Relax, the adapt.

Kids are adaptable he is right she will get used to it…. explain that different houses do things differently and have different rules ( good examples like different things at grandmas house or at a friends house)
Unless one of you is a seriously negligent parent the courts wont give him less time than what he has… kids need the other parent too no matter how rough with new separeations and divorces…. you might find a court may award 50/50 split
So suck it up this is your life now work as best you can with the other parent for your daughters sake and dont worry about stuff till its actually going to happen

Give this time, by the time she gets to school things may have changed.
Both parents must put the child FIRST. Dad works weekends that’s o.k.
This child must feel loved and protected at all times.
Sleeping with Mum is not a bad thing. Kids grow up so fast.
Keep a positive outlook and every thing will work out well for all concerned.

kids are adaptable, if its a situation she is used to there is no reason she won’t be fine. I would talk to her dad able setting down some consistent rules for both homes such as bedtimes and if you really can’t talk to him go to mediation to sort out the details.

Keely is says he works weekends and that can not be changed…

In my experience, the mother’s anxiety can impact on how the child responds to her father. You want to be careful that you are not responding negatively to her spending the night at dad’s house because she will pick up on it. If she thinks it is upsetting you, she could end up not wanting to go. And that’s when you could end up in messy court orders, etc. I wouldn’t stress about it at this stage. Just make it as normal as possible. Things change all the time. Who knows, in two years time he might no longer have to work weekends and it won’t be an issue. Either way, I’m sure Dad would love to be able to take her to school and be involved in her life rather than being just a weekend dad.

Keely, it says he works weekends. So that is understandable. I think that it will take her a while to adjust to the routine. Keep at it. And yes, things are different at the other parents house. Kids learn to deal with this also. Stepmom for 11 years 😉

Each parent parents differently your way or his way are not necessarily right or wrong. Unless there is evidence of disruption at school I think you need to let him have his time and parent it as he sees fit.

Don’t stress about it too much now. Things may change by the time she gets to school 🙂 You can overthink things too much & get too far ahead of yourself (I know I do that). If it becomes an issue when she starts school, then is the time to worry about it 🙂

Why can’t he deal with having her weekends? Oh yeah that’s right their wants matter more than a child’s needs…

The two of you have to do what is best for your daughter. A boy in my daughters class spends one week with his mum and then the following week with his father. This seems to work out well and he is a well mannered boy and is coping well.

i know how hard it can be.. but i think you will find she will be ok, i have friends that have week on week off with school aged children and they seem too do very well

I have a very controlling ex too. Be careful not to let him walk all over you or undermine your decisions or choices. As far as saying lets see what the courts decide to me that is a threat. Majority of the time the children are placed with the mother unless unfit which you don’t seem to be. It sounds to me the more you ask him to cooperate the less he will. It’s a tricky one as I have been in similar situation but stick to your guns. Sometimes niceness can be seen as a sign of weakness but don’t let him walk over you. Try not to worry about something that has not yet happened, a lot can happen in 2 years 🙂

Stop thinking about it, She will do just fine as long as your ex can get her to school on time and manage the homework and such. Your anxiety of her being away could be the cause of her sleeping with you when she gets home as she can feel it